The lone word muttered twice by my sleeping beauty.
I went in to check on Layla as I always do before going to bed myself. She was turned around in bed so I gently lifted her to put her back in the right direction. As I did, she woke up for a brief moment and said, "hug."
She then turned onto her side and, I thought, immediately fell back asleep.
However, a couple of seconds later she fluttered her eyes and muttered "hug" as she rolled onto her back.
I bent down to give her a hug. She wrapped one arm around me, gently patted me on the back, then promptly fell asleep.
Such a sweet moment.
I have to say, I'm quite proud to be the mommy of a little girl whose first thought is to ask for a hug after being awakened from a sound slumber :-)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Pause, Please
As I type, tears are flowing down my cheeks.
I have realized tonight that I can't remember Layla as a baby. I try. I remember the first night at home. I remember trying to get her to sleep those first few weeks. I remember her 1st birthday and how she toddled around. But I can't remember just holding her (which I know I did a ton of!). I can't recall the feel of her little body in my arms. I can't picture her crawling around, her baby talk, pulling up.
If only life were on constant record. If only I could rewind and view what has been.
I'm looking at her 2-year pictures and wondering how in the world she's gotten so big.
I'm looking at Piper's 3-month pictures and am sad that I won't remember this stage of her life, either.
I know each stage of life is precious. We're in such a sweet, fun stage right now. I honestly wouldn't change it. I'd love to just pause our life and stay here for a little while longer.
Just tonight I was rocking Layla before putting her to bed and sat there longer than normal simply taking in the moment - the two of us singing together. Rock-a-bye, baby; Baa, Baa Black Sheep; Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star; I Love You Lord; It Is Well With My Soul. The sound of her two-year-old voice singing the words in a normal, not hushed night-time voice, and just being so relaxed in my arms. Not quite getting the point of rhythm and speeding through lines she knows super well. Being quiet just to hear her mommy sing (off-key and all). Not sensing me stifling my chuckles of joy as I listen and enjoy her songs. Hearing her whisper, "I love you, Mommy" after giving me a big hug and kiss before resting her head on her pillow. Telling me, "Thank you, Mommy" as I place her blanket over her.
But I want to have a stronger grasp on the past, too.
Pictures are good. Lord knows I have plenty of those! If I'd just get them off my darn computer and into an album.
But there's something special about just being able to pull a memory from your head and reliving it at a moment's notice. I want that! I want more!
Maybe I'm just too stressed and tired right now to be able to do that. Oh how I wish! I fear that's not the case, though. So I will have to be okay with the pictures I have, the few fleeting memories I can hold on to, and try to savor each moment before they quickly fade away.
I completely understand now why my dad used to always say, "I tried telling you girls to stop growing and you never listened."
If I can't get them to stop growing, I'd at least like a pause, please.
I have realized tonight that I can't remember Layla as a baby. I try. I remember the first night at home. I remember trying to get her to sleep those first few weeks. I remember her 1st birthday and how she toddled around. But I can't remember just holding her (which I know I did a ton of!). I can't recall the feel of her little body in my arms. I can't picture her crawling around, her baby talk, pulling up.
If only life were on constant record. If only I could rewind and view what has been.
I'm looking at her 2-year pictures and wondering how in the world she's gotten so big.
I'm looking at Piper's 3-month pictures and am sad that I won't remember this stage of her life, either.
I know each stage of life is precious. We're in such a sweet, fun stage right now. I honestly wouldn't change it. I'd love to just pause our life and stay here for a little while longer.
Just tonight I was rocking Layla before putting her to bed and sat there longer than normal simply taking in the moment - the two of us singing together. Rock-a-bye, baby; Baa, Baa Black Sheep; Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star; I Love You Lord; It Is Well With My Soul. The sound of her two-year-old voice singing the words in a normal, not hushed night-time voice, and just being so relaxed in my arms. Not quite getting the point of rhythm and speeding through lines she knows super well. Being quiet just to hear her mommy sing (off-key and all). Not sensing me stifling my chuckles of joy as I listen and enjoy her songs. Hearing her whisper, "I love you, Mommy" after giving me a big hug and kiss before resting her head on her pillow. Telling me, "Thank you, Mommy" as I place her blanket over her.
But I want to have a stronger grasp on the past, too.
Pictures are good. Lord knows I have plenty of those! If I'd just get them off my darn computer and into an album.
But there's something special about just being able to pull a memory from your head and reliving it at a moment's notice. I want that! I want more!
Maybe I'm just too stressed and tired right now to be able to do that. Oh how I wish! I fear that's not the case, though. So I will have to be okay with the pictures I have, the few fleeting memories I can hold on to, and try to savor each moment before they quickly fade away.
I completely understand now why my dad used to always say, "I tried telling you girls to stop growing and you never listened."
If I can't get them to stop growing, I'd at least like a pause, please.
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