Time for another round I like to call "What's This Momma Doin'?"
Clue #2
Monday, February 17, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Bibles and Kids
The whole task seemed quite overwhelming! Of course having all the kids with me in a store they're not used to frequenting could have factored into that feeling. Too bad I didn't find the kid section with toys & a TV until we were already nearly finished with our shopping!!
Anyway, we ended up with a bible that's kind of in between a story bible and a traditional bible.
The front cover looks a little young and it's advertised for preschoolers to "experience the fun!" However, when I looked through the inside I ended up liking it better than what we had already picked out - a traditional children's bible. You know, the thing I went in to actually purchase.
Moving on...I say it's an in-between type of bible because it is set up in stories (85) yet uses scripture (including verse numbers) in an abridged form. It's "real Bible text" using the NLT for "its clarity for readers of all ages."
It has hands-on activities on nearly ever page (some pages have more than one). Some I think Layla will enjoy more than others. Regardless, I love that it involves physical movement. Yay for adding in some multiple styles of learning!
There is a "Jesus Connection" at the end of each story as well as discussion questions ("Let's Talk") and a short prayer.
I was really drawn to these aspects the most...especially the prayer. I love that they're short & sweet and age-appropriate. As much as I'd like to think I would naturally ask these types of questions after reading a story in a story bible, I'm just not confident I wouldn't simply help the kids summarize the story and promptly close the book. I am hopeful the prayer aspect will really help us focus on adding family prayer into each day (or at least each day we remember to read from this) aside from our prayer before each meal. And, let's be honest, that meal-time prayer is pretty rote.
The end of each story also includes another activity or two. Some are activities you can incorporate during your normal goings-on of each day. Bonus! Let's hope we remember them :-)
I really wasn't sure I decided on the right one before typing this out. I was wondering if I should have stuck with the traditional children's Bible. However, I am too often trying to make Layla grow up faster than she needs to. I felt this Bible may have been a little too juvenile for her but I'm not feeling that way anymore. I think they need to just get rid of that "preschool" title on the front. And maybe do away with the kiddie animals (apparently named Pockets and Cuddles). Or is that me making her be too much of a "big kid" again? I guess we'll see how she takes to the characters.
What did/does your 6ish-year-old use as a Bible? I'd love to hear suggestions/advice/true stories from those who have gone before! Whether that mean years before or you are currently in the same stage with your kid and were simply more pro-active on getting him/her a Bible before now. :-)
Sunday, February 9, 2014
DIY Laundry Detergent
That's it, folks! That's what this momma was doin' Friday.
Two years ago I started making my laundry detergent. I can't believe it's been that long! I had to go back and look at pictures to confirm. My, how time flies when you're making detergent!
Anyway, I started making a dry detergent that I had seen floating around on facebook. It looked like this:
When I was close to running out I made a second batch...this time for $20.55 - darn inflation!...with a slightly different technique. I heated up the Fels-Naptha in the microwave before sending it through the food processor. It ended up looking this:
Batch 2 Batch 1
I was much happier with how the soap was more of a powder and incorporated into the other ingredients better.
However, our washing machine wasn't doing a great job at always dissolving the soap. I never had a problem before, so I have to assume it is because of drying it in the microwave first. We also don't use hot water in our laundry. Not really by choice. There are two pipes coming out of our washer, one for hot and one for cold, but they end up joining the same cold-water pipe. Seriously! I'm not sure who the wise guy was who did that but I certainly hope he isn't making that mistake anymore. Funny side note - my husband lived here a year and a half before we were married and never realized he wasn't getting hot water. :-) It is fairly annoying that I don't have the option of hot water, but, after 9.5 years without it, I am not sure I'll ever wash with hot water again. I've had no problems with how our laundry comes out of the wash, we're saving on our energy bills and, consequently, living a little more green. Well...when we move I actually might do hot water for seriously soiled items. Anyway - back on topic! I think if we had hot water perhaps the soap would have dissolved. But it didn't.
So when I began to run low on batch #2, I went in search of a DIY liquid detergent. A friend suggested a recipe that looked intriguing.
That white pasty stuff on the bottom right is the final result. Not really a liquid if you ask me! I call it my "icing" laundry detergent.
I never figured how much this batch cost me, but it's cheap! You only use a portion of the ingredients instead of the entire box and I just had no desire to do the math.
I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure I just made my third batch of this. Which means each batch lasted me about 6 months. This third batch I doubled. Now that I'm actually blogging again, I should be able to easily look back and see exactly how long it lasts.
I plan on sticking with this detergent. I haven't had a problem with it not dissolving into the cold water I use. I also feel like my laundry smells better when it comes out. The dry detergent smelled FABULOUS every time I opened the container!! However, I never noticed the smell lingering on the clothes. With my "icing" I feel my laundry has a hint of the smell left after being washed.
If you would like to know how to make this yourself, you can find the recipe here. It is more labor intensive than the dry detergent (which is simply pouring the ingredients into a container and mixing them together), but I find the results to be better. It's also cheaper. Yay! For 2 years of detergent, I have spent about $50. Actually, if my doubled batch lasts me twice as long then we're talking 3 years of detergent for about $50. Woohoo!! And if we're only going to look at the 2 years of this "icing" detergent, then I'm going to guesstimate about $12-$15. WOWZERS!!
If you end up making the liquid/icing detergent, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Two years ago I started making my laundry detergent. I can't believe it's been that long! I had to go back and look at pictures to confirm. My, how time flies when you're making detergent!
Anyway, I started making a dry detergent that I had seen floating around on facebook. It looked like this:
- 1- 4 lb 12 oz box Borax (76 oz) - detergent aisle
- 1 - 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda - cooking aisle
- 1 - 3 lb 7 oz box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda (55 oz) - detergent aisle
- 3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap - detergent aisle
When I was close to running out I made a second batch...this time for $20.55 - darn inflation!...with a slightly different technique. I heated up the Fels-Naptha in the microwave before sending it through the food processor. It ended up looking this:
I was much happier with how the soap was more of a powder and incorporated into the other ingredients better.
However, our washing machine wasn't doing a great job at always dissolving the soap. I never had a problem before, so I have to assume it is because of drying it in the microwave first. We also don't use hot water in our laundry. Not really by choice. There are two pipes coming out of our washer, one for hot and one for cold, but they end up joining the same cold-water pipe. Seriously! I'm not sure who the wise guy was who did that but I certainly hope he isn't making that mistake anymore. Funny side note - my husband lived here a year and a half before we were married and never realized he wasn't getting hot water. :-) It is fairly annoying that I don't have the option of hot water, but, after 9.5 years without it, I am not sure I'll ever wash with hot water again. I've had no problems with how our laundry comes out of the wash, we're saving on our energy bills and, consequently, living a little more green. Well...when we move I actually might do hot water for seriously soiled items. Anyway - back on topic! I think if we had hot water perhaps the soap would have dissolved. But it didn't.
So when I began to run low on batch #2, I went in search of a DIY liquid detergent. A friend suggested a recipe that looked intriguing.
That white pasty stuff on the bottom right is the final result. Not really a liquid if you ask me! I call it my "icing" laundry detergent.
I never figured how much this batch cost me, but it's cheap! You only use a portion of the ingredients instead of the entire box and I just had no desire to do the math.
- 1 bar Fels-Naptha
- 1 cup of Borax
- 1 cup of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (not baking soda!)
- 4 cups of hot water
I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure I just made my third batch of this. Which means each batch lasted me about 6 months. This third batch I doubled. Now that I'm actually blogging again, I should be able to easily look back and see exactly how long it lasts.
I plan on sticking with this detergent. I haven't had a problem with it not dissolving into the cold water I use. I also feel like my laundry smells better when it comes out. The dry detergent smelled FABULOUS every time I opened the container!! However, I never noticed the smell lingering on the clothes. With my "icing" I feel my laundry has a hint of the smell left after being washed.
If you would like to know how to make this yourself, you can find the recipe here. It is more labor intensive than the dry detergent (which is simply pouring the ingredients into a container and mixing them together), but I find the results to be better. It's also cheaper. Yay! For 2 years of detergent, I have spent about $50. Actually, if my doubled batch lasts me twice as long then we're talking 3 years of detergent for about $50. Woohoo!! And if we're only going to look at the 2 years of this "icing" detergent, then I'm going to guesstimate about $12-$15. WOWZERS!!
If you end up making the liquid/icing detergent, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Friday, February 7, 2014
What's This Momma Doin'?
Today on my facebook page I decided to post a picture of something I was
doing to see what people thought it was. I knew it looked a lot more
like various other options instead of what I was actually doing, so I
was ready to have a little fun.
I posted one picture clue and then a few hours later posted a second - both times asking "What's This Momma Doin?"
Here are my pictures as well as the guesses. I will blog about my activity and reveal the answer later. Until then, do you have any other guesses to add?
I posted one picture clue and then a few hours later posted a second - both times asking "What's This Momma Doin?"
Here are my pictures as well as the guesses. I will blog about my activity and reveal the answer later. Until then, do you have any other guesses to add?
- homemade shaving cream?
- Cheesecake?
- yogurt
- Fluffy pie? Lol..
- Cherry delight?
- I don't know but I want some.-----*response from me* You all are making me hungry!-----
- Is it not food??
- Making butter??
- Either cream cheese or Greek yogurt
- Ohh greek yogurt is a great guess! That is kind of what it looks like! Now i want some!
- Is it mayonnaise?
- Butter?
- I sure hope it's icing! Haha that much butter or mayo does not look appetizing lol
- Maybe marshmallow cream.
- Oh my gosh! What is it!! Something to do with cream cheese? Soap? Cleaner? Frosting? I dont know!!!!! Lol
- lotion?
- Laundry detergent?
- Snow ice cream?
- It looks like cream cheese icing, but that's a lot of icing!
- churning your own butter?
- banana puddin
- Mayo
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
I'm baaaaack!!!
Wow. I knew it had been a long time since I'd blogged, but I didn't realize it had been 8 months!! In those 8 months there were a lot of moments where I thought, "I need to blog about this." But, alas, I never did.
I will do some back-tracking to fill in a few gaps (even though anyone reading this is 99.99% likely to be my facebook friend and you already know my life b/c I have an addiction...but that's for a different blog) and then move right along to sync back up with this thing called life.
I am going to make a goal to blog at least once a week when I get caught up. Will someone hold me accountable? Probably not. I mean, who really cares about my ramblings aside from me? Hopefully my desire to document my life in an arena that tolerates long-windedness will be enough motivation to bring this blog back to life. The number of posts I have made has dropped about 50% every year since 2009. Yikes! Last year I blogged a mere 3 times. And if you know my last year, you know life was Cuh-Ray-Zee! Plenty to blog about! Although I guess that can explain the lack of posts. That and the fact that decreased blogging began with the appearance of kid #2 and only got worse when #3 arrived. So there are reasons why I haven't blogged. But I've had plenty of time to enjoy TV series by binge-watching, so there's really no good excuse. Less TV, more blogging. Or, if we're honest, more blogging while watching TV.
Ciao for now!
I will do some back-tracking to fill in a few gaps (even though anyone reading this is 99.99% likely to be my facebook friend and you already know my life b/c I have an addiction...but that's for a different blog) and then move right along to sync back up with this thing called life.
I am going to make a goal to blog at least once a week when I get caught up. Will someone hold me accountable? Probably not. I mean, who really cares about my ramblings aside from me? Hopefully my desire to document my life in an arena that tolerates long-windedness will be enough motivation to bring this blog back to life. The number of posts I have made has dropped about 50% every year since 2009. Yikes! Last year I blogged a mere 3 times. And if you know my last year, you know life was Cuh-Ray-Zee! Plenty to blog about! Although I guess that can explain the lack of posts. That and the fact that decreased blogging began with the appearance of kid #2 and only got worse when #3 arrived. So there are reasons why I haven't blogged. But I've had plenty of time to enjoy TV series by binge-watching, so there's really no good excuse. Less TV, more blogging. Or, if we're honest, more blogging while watching TV.
Ciao for now!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Back to the pool
I was a competitive swimmer for 12 years of my life. I started at age 6 and swam through high school. I peaked my freshman year of high school. After that I only swam during high school season instead of with age-group all year.
In college I did some lap swimming and competed in a few intramural one-day/year meets.
Post-college I spent a very short time with a YMCA membership that also allowed me to lap swim.
The local age-group team started a "Masters" program several years ago. I tried it out a few times, but it was basically a time for adults to lap swim. The coach didn't have workouts...he seemed more of a lifeguard on deck. So I didn't go more than maybe 2 times.
The past couple of years I have wanted to join the Masters team again, knowing that there was an active coach on the scene (I was still on the emailing list and stalking the group silently from my couch). However, with graduate school and Jeremy working at Domino's, it was not at all feasible for me to find time to commit. And, let's face it, with a monthly fee, I better be committing!
I'm finished with grad school and Jeremy just quit Domino's. The excuses are no more.
I got in touch with the coach and now here I am sitting on the couch after my first practice in over 13 years!
Here are a few things worth noting:
1) It was apparent before I finished my first 200 that I have lost all muscle in my arms. By the end of practice, my arms weren't just tired, my triceps were sore. Don't expect me to move my arms much the next few days.
2) It was also apparent in that first 200 that my suit is not made for lap swimming. I had to find one quickly and didn't fit into the ones at the local sports store (horrible), so it's a Kohls suit. Not really what I was looking for, but it will do. It just doesn't fit snugly across the top, so there's considerable drag. However, I'm not going to look for a more suitable one just yet as I hope to have an excuse to buy a new suit sooner rather than later. :-)
3) I was in the slow lane...the fastest person in the slow lane, but the slow lane nonetheless. The jets in this lane suck! Or blow, rather. Seriously. They're horrible. I do not recall ever swimming in a pool with such awful jets. I plan to remedy this situation in the next couple of weeks. Of course with 19 and 20 year-olds in the pool, I will not be finding myself in the fast lane. Those days are past me. I'll be happy with the middle :-)
4) Practice was an hour and I got in 2100. The top lanes did 2500. I also plan to remedy this in a couple of weeks.
5) The coach told me about 40 minutes in that he usually has new people "just swim" and not really listen to him. I told him that I need a coach and will do whatever he says...and need him to tell me what to do...but that if I need a break I will just take one :-)
6) I did everything I was told to do. The 1200 warm-up (200 swim-100 kick-200 swim-100 pull x 2) was the most difficult. After that, I got into a groove. And...my 4x100s descending were actually descending! 5 seconds off each one! Woohoo! This was the last set of practice and my last 100 was 1:40. I'm okay with that. I'm documenting it here so I can see how I've improved by the end of the summer.
7) I know running is free, but there is no way I will ever get this kind of workout for free. So I do believe I will continue to pay a monthly fee to swim with a coach. Plus, swimming is far superior. No pounding of the joints. Working your entire body. Sweat isn't noticed. It's a win-win-win.
I have a feeling, if I stick with this and practice 3x a week that I will finally reach that elusive 20lb weight-loss mark. I got to 19lbs during the Biggest Loser competition at work and couldn't get to 20. I have gained a few pounds back, so it will take me a couple of weeks. I've got a goal to lose another 13 pounds before our Florida vacation at the end of July.
I'm also planning on signing up and training for my first triathlon! Which does mean I still have to run every now and then. I also need to start biking. I have never biked for anything other than leisurely rides. This will be interesting.
Here's to my summer of fit!
In college I did some lap swimming and competed in a few intramural one-day/year meets.
Post-college I spent a very short time with a YMCA membership that also allowed me to lap swim.
The local age-group team started a "Masters" program several years ago. I tried it out a few times, but it was basically a time for adults to lap swim. The coach didn't have workouts...he seemed more of a lifeguard on deck. So I didn't go more than maybe 2 times.
The past couple of years I have wanted to join the Masters team again, knowing that there was an active coach on the scene (I was still on the emailing list and stalking the group silently from my couch). However, with graduate school and Jeremy working at Domino's, it was not at all feasible for me to find time to commit. And, let's face it, with a monthly fee, I better be committing!
I'm finished with grad school and Jeremy just quit Domino's. The excuses are no more.
I got in touch with the coach and now here I am sitting on the couch after my first practice in over 13 years!
Here are a few things worth noting:
1) It was apparent before I finished my first 200 that I have lost all muscle in my arms. By the end of practice, my arms weren't just tired, my triceps were sore. Don't expect me to move my arms much the next few days.
2) It was also apparent in that first 200 that my suit is not made for lap swimming. I had to find one quickly and didn't fit into the ones at the local sports store (horrible), so it's a Kohls suit. Not really what I was looking for, but it will do. It just doesn't fit snugly across the top, so there's considerable drag. However, I'm not going to look for a more suitable one just yet as I hope to have an excuse to buy a new suit sooner rather than later. :-)
3) I was in the slow lane...the fastest person in the slow lane, but the slow lane nonetheless. The jets in this lane suck! Or blow, rather. Seriously. They're horrible. I do not recall ever swimming in a pool with such awful jets. I plan to remedy this situation in the next couple of weeks. Of course with 19 and 20 year-olds in the pool, I will not be finding myself in the fast lane. Those days are past me. I'll be happy with the middle :-)
4) Practice was an hour and I got in 2100. The top lanes did 2500. I also plan to remedy this in a couple of weeks.
5) The coach told me about 40 minutes in that he usually has new people "just swim" and not really listen to him. I told him that I need a coach and will do whatever he says...and need him to tell me what to do...but that if I need a break I will just take one :-)
6) I did everything I was told to do. The 1200 warm-up (200 swim-100 kick-200 swim-100 pull x 2) was the most difficult. After that, I got into a groove. And...my 4x100s descending were actually descending! 5 seconds off each one! Woohoo! This was the last set of practice and my last 100 was 1:40. I'm okay with that. I'm documenting it here so I can see how I've improved by the end of the summer.
7) I know running is free, but there is no way I will ever get this kind of workout for free. So I do believe I will continue to pay a monthly fee to swim with a coach. Plus, swimming is far superior. No pounding of the joints. Working your entire body. Sweat isn't noticed. It's a win-win-win.
I have a feeling, if I stick with this and practice 3x a week that I will finally reach that elusive 20lb weight-loss mark. I got to 19lbs during the Biggest Loser competition at work and couldn't get to 20. I have gained a few pounds back, so it will take me a couple of weeks. I've got a goal to lose another 13 pounds before our Florida vacation at the end of July.
I'm also planning on signing up and training for my first triathlon! Which does mean I still have to run every now and then. I also need to start biking. I have never biked for anything other than leisurely rides. This will be interesting.
Here's to my summer of fit!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Ice Cream, Discipline, Conversations & Personalities
Barrett had his 3rd speech therapy session tonight and in an attempt to successfully keep the girls in their room after being not-so-successful last week, I bribed them with ice cream. Yes. A bribe. I'm not above it.
Set up with Jeremy's new Kindle Fire (yep, just days after this article went Facebook crazy), I knew Layla wouldn't be a problem. It was Piper I was worried about.
Sure enough, she came wandering out about 30 minutes into the 1-hour session.
Long story short, she was back and forth a few times and by the end of the session, the situation had escalated, her patience and willingness to listen had deescalated, and she was showing off her newly-perfected, oft-used sassy/grumpy/ugly "no!" mixed in with, "I want ice cream" and other various promises of what she would do in order to get said ice cream. I'm pretty sure there was even a swat to my arm involved.
All happening right in front of the therapist.
Awesome.
I hate those situations. You know...where you really want to strongly discipline your child but don't want to do it in front of someone else...but don't want them to think you're letting your child rule the roost...but can't just walk away and leave because of the situation. Ugh. I know I shouldn't mind. Especially being in my own home. But I do.
So out the therapist went and off to discipline Piper I went.
There were tears. A fit was thrown. Time-out was given to calm down. And, of course, a reiteration of the statement that she would not be getting ice cream...which undoubtedly led to more tears and hysteria.
While reminding her of this, I knew in the back of my head that I really, truly did not want to go along with it. It was just another battle I did not want to have to deal with tonight. Couldn't I just come up with some task for her to do around the house to earn back her ice cream? Isn't that teaching her something? Do I really have to follow through with negative consequences if I can find a way out of it?
But I am the one who put myself in the situation when I gave the bribe (darn you people who say not to bribe!), so I couldn't back down or give in.
In an effort to avoid WWIII when Layla received her ice cream, I had a conversation with Piper (after she had calmed down).
Side bar: Conversations happen a lot in our house. We try to explain situations before they happen so they have an idea of what to expect. We converse about the dentist, doctor appointments, expected behavior in Wal-Mart, expected behavior for leaving the museum (before we get to the museum, mind you), etc., etc. These conversations have typically served us very well in the past. For example, Layla had to have her blood drawn when she was 2.5 and we told her it would feel like someone was pinching her and that it would probably hurt...but only for a little bit. She asked questions; we answered. We repeated the process a few times; she listened. It came time for the blood draw and she was AMAZING!! She just sat and watched the entire process beginning to end. I'm not going to say it's entirely because of our conversation beforehand, but I am pretty darn positive that she would have flipped out had that nurse whipped out that needle and she didn't know it was coming!
However, when you're trying to converse about a sibling getting ice cream that another is not...yeah, that's an entirely different ball game.
I had Piper explain to me her bad choices. I had her repeat to me our ice cream deal. I asked her if she would get ice cream.
All correct, calm responses so far.
I asked her if Layla would get ice cream. I asked her why. I asked her if she understood that she would not be getting ice cream and Layla would be eating some right next to her.
We repeated this scenario with variations in explanations/questioning at least 2 times.
She seemed "okay" as she solemnly nodded with her puppy-dog eyes and slightly turned-down mouth.
This was going easier than expected. I was a little scared.
Why, you ask? Because if the situation had been reversed and I had been talking to Layla all hell would have been breaking loose in my very own living room!
You think I'm kidding.
I'm not.
The girl once ruined her entire dinner because she was told to share one slice of her mandarin orange with her brother and she instead rashly decided that angrily squeezing the entire thing over her meal would be a better idea.
Still fearing what was to come, I seriously thought about not even going out to get some. Layla was still engrossed in whatever she was watching on the Kindle and seemed to have forgotten about the deal.
But I had to. Otherwise I would have still been giving in to the situation. Piper wouldn't have learned that her bad choices can have negative consequences.
So off we went.
"Crinner" (in-car dinner) happened first. Instead of going straight to an ice cream place, I aimlessly drove around allowing myself more time to decide whether or not I wanted to go through with this. Did I really feel like putting up with this huge battle so late at night?? Wouldn't it be so much easier to just go home?? Layla still seemed to have no memory of our ice cream deal as she wasn't bringing it up. It would be super easy to just walk into the house and put them to bed.
But I went for it.
Layla was told she would get ice cream and Piper was reminded she wouldn't.
Our conversation began again. My attempt to prevent an epic meltdown was in full-swing.
Still so far so good. (Although I'm walking on eggshells.)
As we waited in the drive-thru line, I tried to drive home this point to dear Layla by calling out Piper's "big girl" behavior to the situation. She wasn't throwing a huge fit that she wasn't going to get ice cream. My hope was that Layla would remember this for a time when the situation is reversed. I'm pretty sure my words were falling on deaf ears. Or, perhaps, falling on the ears of a child who is simply different from her sister.
We finally pull up to the window to get the ice cream and...much to my surprise and complete satisfaction...Layla was given her ice cream and Piper only longingly stared at her eating it.
Okay, she may have asked her for a bite, but that was a good, quick lesson in not asking for things we don't deserve.
But seriously! I was braced for a showdown and all I got was peace. Woohoo!
I am still in shock at how maturely she handled the situation. Truly. She showed such dignity and respect in her choice not to react negatively.
My sweet Piper surprises me quite often with her little showings of personality that are so opposite of Layla's. Leading a life where she seems to always want to do what her big sister does, these little glimpses into her own uniqueness are such blessings to me.
And I'm blessed to see them more and more often as she gets older.
She really is her own person, and has been from the beginning, but it's such a neat thing to see that two people created from the same parents can be so starkly different.
Her maturity in this situation also served to remind me that perhaps I'm not royally screwing up this whole thing known as parenthood. It was refreshing.
I'm definitely not saying I'm getting it "right" (as her older sister frequently makes apparent).
Actually, what I am saying is that I don't really think you can "screw it up" if you're putting forth effort, thought, and love. You simply do the best you can and the best you know how in the situations that are presented to you each moment. Your kids bring their own unique personalities into situations and whether or not you do everything in that moment "right" or everything in that moment "wrong", you can have entirely different outcomes for each child. Depending on the child, the situation, and a million other variables, you may walk away proud, discouraged, or somewhere in between.
It's parenthood.
There are highs and lows. Sometimes multiple times a day.
Tonight I walked away proud. Proud that my not-quite-3.5 year old could so maturely face the consequences of her choices while simultaneously watching her older sister reap the benefits of hers.
**Oh, and Barrett peed on the potty for the first time tonight!!! This might be reason enough to blog twice in one month :-)**
****In case it comes across to readers as though Layla is just a little hellion on wheels, I want to point out that I could post a hundred blogs about the amazing things she does (like choosing a toy for her 10-month-old-sister after getting her blood drawn instead of picking one for herself). However, this particular blog is simply about personality traits when it comes to reacting to things one does not get based on poor behavior. In that arena, Piper wins hands down.****
Set up with Jeremy's new Kindle Fire (yep, just days after this article went Facebook crazy), I knew Layla wouldn't be a problem. It was Piper I was worried about.
Sure enough, she came wandering out about 30 minutes into the 1-hour session.
Long story short, she was back and forth a few times and by the end of the session, the situation had escalated, her patience and willingness to listen had deescalated, and she was showing off her newly-perfected, oft-used sassy/grumpy/ugly "no!" mixed in with, "I want ice cream" and other various promises of what she would do in order to get said ice cream. I'm pretty sure there was even a swat to my arm involved.
All happening right in front of the therapist.
Awesome.
I hate those situations. You know...where you really want to strongly discipline your child but don't want to do it in front of someone else...but don't want them to think you're letting your child rule the roost...but can't just walk away and leave because of the situation. Ugh. I know I shouldn't mind. Especially being in my own home. But I do.
So out the therapist went and off to discipline Piper I went.
There were tears. A fit was thrown. Time-out was given to calm down. And, of course, a reiteration of the statement that she would not be getting ice cream...which undoubtedly led to more tears and hysteria.
While reminding her of this, I knew in the back of my head that I really, truly did not want to go along with it. It was just another battle I did not want to have to deal with tonight. Couldn't I just come up with some task for her to do around the house to earn back her ice cream? Isn't that teaching her something? Do I really have to follow through with negative consequences if I can find a way out of it?
But I am the one who put myself in the situation when I gave the bribe (darn you people who say not to bribe!), so I couldn't back down or give in.
In an effort to avoid WWIII when Layla received her ice cream, I had a conversation with Piper (after she had calmed down).
Side bar: Conversations happen a lot in our house. We try to explain situations before they happen so they have an idea of what to expect. We converse about the dentist, doctor appointments, expected behavior in Wal-Mart, expected behavior for leaving the museum (before we get to the museum, mind you), etc., etc. These conversations have typically served us very well in the past. For example, Layla had to have her blood drawn when she was 2.5 and we told her it would feel like someone was pinching her and that it would probably hurt...but only for a little bit. She asked questions; we answered. We repeated the process a few times; she listened. It came time for the blood draw and she was AMAZING!! She just sat and watched the entire process beginning to end. I'm not going to say it's entirely because of our conversation beforehand, but I am pretty darn positive that she would have flipped out had that nurse whipped out that needle and she didn't know it was coming!
(Waiting for her blood draw at 2.5)
However, when you're trying to converse about a sibling getting ice cream that another is not...yeah, that's an entirely different ball game.
I had Piper explain to me her bad choices. I had her repeat to me our ice cream deal. I asked her if she would get ice cream.
All correct, calm responses so far.
I asked her if Layla would get ice cream. I asked her why. I asked her if she understood that she would not be getting ice cream and Layla would be eating some right next to her.
We repeated this scenario with variations in explanations/questioning at least 2 times.
She seemed "okay" as she solemnly nodded with her puppy-dog eyes and slightly turned-down mouth.
This was going easier than expected. I was a little scared.
Why, you ask? Because if the situation had been reversed and I had been talking to Layla all hell would have been breaking loose in my very own living room!
You think I'm kidding.
I'm not.
The girl once ruined her entire dinner because she was told to share one slice of her mandarin orange with her brother and she instead rashly decided that angrily squeezing the entire thing over her meal would be a better idea.
Still fearing what was to come, I seriously thought about not even going out to get some. Layla was still engrossed in whatever she was watching on the Kindle and seemed to have forgotten about the deal.
But I had to. Otherwise I would have still been giving in to the situation. Piper wouldn't have learned that her bad choices can have negative consequences.
So off we went.
"Crinner" (in-car dinner) happened first. Instead of going straight to an ice cream place, I aimlessly drove around allowing myself more time to decide whether or not I wanted to go through with this. Did I really feel like putting up with this huge battle so late at night?? Wouldn't it be so much easier to just go home?? Layla still seemed to have no memory of our ice cream deal as she wasn't bringing it up. It would be super easy to just walk into the house and put them to bed.
But I went for it.
Layla was told she would get ice cream and Piper was reminded she wouldn't.
Our conversation began again. My attempt to prevent an epic meltdown was in full-swing.
Still so far so good. (Although I'm walking on eggshells.)
As we waited in the drive-thru line, I tried to drive home this point to dear Layla by calling out Piper's "big girl" behavior to the situation. She wasn't throwing a huge fit that she wasn't going to get ice cream. My hope was that Layla would remember this for a time when the situation is reversed. I'm pretty sure my words were falling on deaf ears. Or, perhaps, falling on the ears of a child who is simply different from her sister.
We finally pull up to the window to get the ice cream and...much to my surprise and complete satisfaction...Layla was given her ice cream and Piper only longingly stared at her eating it.
Okay, she may have asked her for a bite, but that was a good, quick lesson in not asking for things we don't deserve.
But seriously! I was braced for a showdown and all I got was peace. Woohoo!
I am still in shock at how maturely she handled the situation. Truly. She showed such dignity and respect in her choice not to react negatively.
My sweet Piper surprises me quite often with her little showings of personality that are so opposite of Layla's. Leading a life where she seems to always want to do what her big sister does, these little glimpses into her own uniqueness are such blessings to me.
And I'm blessed to see them more and more often as she gets older.
She really is her own person, and has been from the beginning, but it's such a neat thing to see that two people created from the same parents can be so starkly different.
Her maturity in this situation also served to remind me that perhaps I'm not royally screwing up this whole thing known as parenthood. It was refreshing.
I'm definitely not saying I'm getting it "right" (as her older sister frequently makes apparent).
Actually, what I am saying is that I don't really think you can "screw it up" if you're putting forth effort, thought, and love. You simply do the best you can and the best you know how in the situations that are presented to you each moment. Your kids bring their own unique personalities into situations and whether or not you do everything in that moment "right" or everything in that moment "wrong", you can have entirely different outcomes for each child. Depending on the child, the situation, and a million other variables, you may walk away proud, discouraged, or somewhere in between.
It's parenthood.
There are highs and lows. Sometimes multiple times a day.
Tonight I walked away proud. Proud that my not-quite-3.5 year old could so maturely face the consequences of her choices while simultaneously watching her older sister reap the benefits of hers.
**Oh, and Barrett peed on the potty for the first time tonight!!! This might be reason enough to blog twice in one month :-)**
****In case it comes across to readers as though Layla is just a little hellion on wheels, I want to point out that I could post a hundred blogs about the amazing things she does (like choosing a toy for her 10-month-old-sister after getting her blood drawn instead of picking one for herself). However, this particular blog is simply about personality traits when it comes to reacting to things one does not get based on poor behavior. In that arena, Piper wins hands down.****
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