unsettled

About 2 weeks ago, Jeremy & I watched Marley & Me for the first time. There was a part of the story that really got to me. **Warning - spoiler alert - skip the rest of this paragraph if you don't want to hear about the movie** I'll get straight to the point...in the movie, Jennifer Aniston's character gets pregnant! At 10 weeks, they go in for their first ultrasound and find there is no heartbeat...the baby has died. Coincidentally, I was also 10 weeks pregnant at the time. We had just had our first visit didn't get to hear the heartbeat like we were hoping for. Not because they couldn't find it, but because they didn't even try. I was already feeling a little uneasy still not hearing the baby's heartbeat - and now I see a movie where they find out there is no heartbeat when the woman is as far along in her pregnancy as me! Fabulous!

We ended up breaking the news to everyone publicly, despite not yet hearing the heartbeat. However, I still have yet to tell my co-workers. Partly because there hasn't been a good chance. But mostly it's because I don't want to have to explain to these people that I barely know that I have had a miscarriage (if that were to even be the case).

I would feel so much more comfortable if I can just hear the heartbeat!

Do you remember Might Molly and her dear parents? They found out about a month before Jeremy & I that they are pregnant again!! It was very exciting news!! They're due date is Oct. 19 and ours is Nov. 18.

I came home today to read this. My heart aches for my dear friend and her husband! I can't fathom the pain they're feeling yet again.

And that is why this particular post has come into being. I was once again reminded of Marley & Me...and it has hit closer to home with a friend. Both stories about as far along as I am now when they were told the news.

All I can do is continue to pray for this little one and his/her little heart (and healthy growth).

To sum it all up, I am now even more unsettled about not yet hearing the baby's heartbeat. I will probably now be waiting until our next appointment (May 21) to break the news to my co-workers. I never dreamed I'd wait that long! But as the date gets closer, it's getting a little easier to do.

I can only hope for a speck of the strength & faith of my dear friend, Becca, if we were to hear the same news...