Last night I had painted a beautiful picture of what today would look like. It's President's Day so the entire family was going to be home. I thought we could do some fun celebration stuff...perhaps the children's museum. There was an act from America's Got Talent there today!! I also decided I wanted to take Barrett somewhere (location had not been determined) and attempt to get some adorable pre-aids pictures of him with our camera and my extremely amateur photography skills.
It appeared the day was starting out great. Our little guy, who is always in our room ready to begin the day anytime between 5:45am and 6:15am (fabulous, right?) was not the first in our room. Today our middle came into the room first and we did not hear the patter of 2-year-old feet right behind her (you have to walk through his room to get to ours). Was this a dream?? Did Barrett really not wake up when she walked through the room? Did Piper not go over and wake him up? Wow! Now all we had to do was get Piper out of the room (with an iPhone in hand - yep, we do that) without disturbing him.
It worked!
We slept some more.
Then Jeremy got up. And, to my complete satisfaction, there was still not patter of tiny feet!
Around 8:45am I couldn't stay captive in the room any longer. What a nice thing to get to experience: getting out of bed on my own terms!
I paused on my way through Barrett's room just to check on him. He was opening and closing his eyes slowly. Very pleasant and sweet to watch a kid who is not quite ready to wake. But I lingered. This was just so unlike him that I kept staring. Eventually his eyes were open for good but he wasn't making any effort to move. No sudden jumping up ready for the day and asking me to hold him. If you don't know Barrett, this is most certainly not true to nature!
So I walked to his bed. The poor guy was burning up!
And my dreams for the day came shattering down.
He spent the day puny and sickly. Normally I would have been happy that his illness showed up on a non-school day. But not this day. I was super bummed about the timing of it all. And there may have been a tear or two sneak out when no one was looking.
But it's okay. We had a nice relaxing day.
He wouldn't have understood any sort of celebration we would have had anyway. He's got no clue that his life is about to change. There is no way we can prepare him. He's 2.
There is so much unknown about tomorrow.
Will he easily adapt to hearing aids or will it be a constant battle to get him to keep them in?
How long will battles last?
How long do hearing aid batteries last?
How easily do they fall out? Do we need to invest in clips that attach to his shirt?
In our MESS of a house, where will we safely keep his hearing aids each night?
And because I haven't even allowed myself to really sit and think about things, these are all the questions I have. There are probably questions I should have ready to ask tomorrow, but I don't.
We are really blindly going into this. Which is weird for me....a supreme planner. But it's somewhat freeing. I'm not feeling any stress. I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling a lot of it starting tomorrow, so it's good I've not got any right now. But it is surprising to me and a feeling I'm not used to.
I think it's because this is COMPLETELY unknown territory for us that I just have no way to plan or stress. I just have no idea what we're about to face.
That's not to say I haven't mourned. But that's for another blog.
So here I sit...the last night on my couch as a mom of 3 kids who appear perfect on the outside. In 12 hours we leave, in 13.5 hours we will see his hearing aids for the first time, and in 16-17 hours we will be back home and life will be different.
You can expect many blogs on this topic as pave trails into the unknown.
And you might just see some "pre-aids" pictures that aren't really pre-aids. I can at least pretend to have accomplished one thing from my beautiful plans. ;-)
Until then, here he is on Valentine's Day enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie.
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