SUCCESS!!!

Layla willingly sat down to let me clip her nails!! She was even offering up her fingers one at a time!! Woohoo!!!

Here's to hoping this wasn't a one-time deal!

Just Another Day in My Life

Wednesday, December 23

I went for my scheduled 1-hour massage at 10:30. Perfect! Piper had just been fed and there was no rush to get home. I sat down in the office only to hear them tell me that they didn't have me down until 11:30. What?! I vividly remember the phone conversation (b/c I was debating between a different date) and I repeated the time back to her. I then immediately put it in my phone calendar. Now maybe I did mark it incorrectly...but I'm 95% sure I was in the right. But what am I going to do at this point?

I had a few small errands to run so I left.

I stopped by the bank to put some savings bonds for the girls (from their great-grandmother) in the safe deposit box. Since there was time to kill, I sifted through the items and saw Layla's birth certificate. Apparently we got it 4 months after she was born. Which got me thinking...what did we need her birth certificate for? What paperwork were we filling out? What required that item? What are we forgetting with Piper? Hmmmm....

Next it was off to the post office to mail a couple more Christmas letters/pictures. I was on the phone chatting with my mom and next thing I know I'm stuck in the turn lane to get on to I-70 West! Oops! Here I am headed to Illinois.

Doesn't matter, right? I have time to kill. :-)

This got me reminiscing on my summer in Colorado (I drove I-70 all the way there). I definitely left a piece of my heart there. One of these days I do hope to go back!

I finally make it back to where I ought to be and notice a Washington license plate in front of me.

This got me reminiscing on our trip to Idaho/Washington last year. I went to visit a best friend & do some sight-seeing. One of these days I do hope to go back!

Finally I make it to my destination! I am pleasantly surprised there is no wait (I went in the day before and the line was INSANE - thank you automated stamp dispenser!). I walk up to the counter and ask for 2 holiday stamps. "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't break up the book of holiday stamps." Oh. Okay. I guess I'll take the generic stamps. The whole point of me going to the post office was for the cute little holiday stamps! I have generic ones at home. Ugh! A wasted trip.

Doesn't matter, right? I have time to kill. :-)

After this I head back to my massage. On the way I thought I heard air coming in through a window so I make sure they're all rolled up. For some reason, I lowered the driver's side sliding door window. When I rolled it back up there was a loud pop about a half-second after it closed. I wasn't quite sure it was related, so I rolled it down and up again. Pop. I looked back to see if something was getting in the way. Nope. Try again. Pop. Greeeaaat.

While this is happening, I am watching the driver in front of me swerve over the middle line two times.

So not only did I have the wrong massage time, nearly make it to a different state, make an unnecessary trip to the post office, and have a van window that's falling apart but I've got a crazy driver in front of me that might cause a wreck that includes me! Oy!

I turn in to the parking lot to finally get this massage and a car swerves around the corner missing me by mere inches!

Maybe it was a blessing that my massage was an hour later than I thought. I would hate to ruin a perfectly relaxed body by then facing all the above issues!

***I did enjoy the time to be able to simply be left alone with my thoughts, though. No kid(s) in the back talking/crying/begging for my attention. No husband. Just me, myself and I. I think I need to allow myself more times like that :-)

How do I get my daughter to eat?

That is the question.

Eating pancakes & other carb-filled items will not cut it.

Do I simply let her go hungry? Will that teach her?

Ugh!

Why do my best friends have to live states away?!?! What I wouldn't give to be able to just sit on the couch and sip some hot cocoa with them while chatting, discussing, advising, learning & growing together. While we're at it we may as well throw laughter and some good healthy tears into the mix.

New Eyes

This blog is over 2 weeks due. I never seem to find time to sit down and blog the many things in my head!

The moment I stepped out of the hospital and into the van, my darling Layla was seen with new eyes.

Her face appears so mature.

Her eyes are so large.

She's tall.

Her legs are full & thick.

Can this possibly be my little baby girl?!?! Not anymore. She's officially stepped into the role of "Mommy's big girl" and it literally happened overnight!

I swear she learned & grew SO much in the 3 days that passed while I was in the hospital!

Tomorrow marks Piper's 3-week birthday and I still haven't fully adjusted to these new eyes and how they view my little sweet pea. It's such a transformation. I really can't put it into words....so this will just have to be the end of my post. :-)

Piper's Birth Story

Piper's birth story really begins March 2, 2008 - the day her sister was born. You see, Layla was born via c-section and I was determined to not have to repeat that for my next pregnancy. Thus began my research into VBACs (vaginal births after cesarean).

My research was sporadic during Layla's first year of life. However, my mental determination was there and growing stronger. Each month that passed meant another month of my scar growing stronger and lessening my chances of the uterus rupturing during delivery.

Once I found out I was pregnant, I began calling around to find a doctor who would allow me to try for a VBAC with this pregnancy. I was even looking into hospitals in Indianapolis...that's how determined I was!! My doctor with Layla's pregnancy used to do VBACs all the time. He stopped once he moved his office out of the Professional Building and a mere 3 minutes down the road. Legal jargon is what prevents most doctors from performing VBACs. Ugh! That doctor did attempt to persuade me that a repeat c-section wouldn't be too bad b/c he would perform a little tummy tuck while he was at it. Tempting...but not enough! Luckily, I found a local doctor who allows patients to attempt VBACs. Woohoo!!!

Let's move ahead to about 31 weeks into the pregnancy. We had our 3-D ultrasound and it was wonderful. We did, however, discover that baby Johnson was in a breech position. A week later, at my normal check-up, she was still breech. What a way to ruin all my hard work at preparing for a VBAC!!

For the next month or so, you could often find me with my head down and butt up - techniques to get that baby to flip. I also began going to the chiropractor again and had him use the Webster Technique on me as well.

At my 37 week appointment, I asked my doctor to see if she could tell if the baby had flipped. I know I hadn't felt anything that would warrant a flip and wasn't too positive that she would give me good news. She went ahead and did an internal exam....and felt a head!!!! I was so overcome with joy that my eyes teared up! Who knows how many times I asked her if she was 100% sure. It was the end of the day, so she took me to the ultrasound machine to show me visual confirmation. Baby Johnson had indeed flipped!!!!

At 38.5 weeks - Friday, November 6 - my Braxton Hicks contractions changed. They now started feeling "crampy" as opposed to simply a tightening of my stomach. They were still very irregular but continued the entire weekend.

39 weeks - Tuesday, November 10 - I had my appointment (2cm & 50% effaced) and was discussing with my doctor what would happen if I went into labor the next day (she was going to be in Chicago!). She informed me that the doctor on call that night was not a fan of VBACs and would do his best to tell me I need a c-section. She did tell me I can always refuse to sign the paperwork. She didn't say too much about the doctor on call during the day on Wednesday. I had planned on taking the afternoon off and doing tons of walking and other things to get labor progressing. The news of these doctors on call changed my plans and I instead went home and just relaxed. The last thing I wanted was to be in labor and have the stress of a doctor trying to convince me to have a c-section.

Tuesday night around 10:00 my contractions kicked it into high gear! Jeremy & I were up ALL night! It was not fun at all. I kept watching the clock, wondering what time the doctors switched shifts. I was determined to stay home as long as possible to at least avoid the first doctor on call!

Wednesday morning around 7:00, the contractions quit almost entirely! Are you kidding me?!?! What is that all about! Oh well, I can now relax (Veteran's day = no school) and keep this baby in me until my doctor returns.

At some point I told Jeremy that I would not consider an epidural until I was at least 7cm and baby was obviously descending into the birth canal. Layla was a c-section because I was induced and she simply would not come down. There are a lot of factors I blame the c-section on - being induced early, having my water broken manually after just an hour on pitocin, being stuck in bed for the entire labor, having an epidural slow things down even more. I was determined to do the opposite of all these things with this pregnancy!

Wednesday night, the contractions begin again. By 3:30am Thursday morning we decide to head to the hospital. They examine me and see that I'm still 2cm & 50% effaced. What?!?! All that pain Tuesday night did NOTHING!! I was in shock. They hook me up and monitor me for an hour. Examine me again - no change! I get orders to walk around for an hour so off we go through the halls of the hospital feeling as though we're walking through places we shouldn't be. Jeremy sneaks off and gets us breakfast. Since I'm not officially admitted I haven't been told I can't eat. :-) After the hour is up, we head back. No change!! You have got to be kidding me! I honestly can't believe these contractions are doing nothing! I break down and cry (emotional me) and they send me home. My doctor tells me to take some Tylenol PM and go to sleep. The nurse leaves me with some positive thoughts saying she doesn't think I'll make it through the day before coming back. I nod & smile, realizing she's most likely just trying to cheer me up.

I take Tylenol PM and get very little sleep. I'm awakened every few minutes groaning in pain.

We sit down to watch some Tuesday night shows and at some point my contractions get considerably harder. We were told not to come back until the contractions are 3-5 minutes apart for at least an hour. Earlier in the day they were, but that was only if I was up and moving around. Now they were about 4 minutes apart no matter what I did. We made it 45 minutes and I had had enough. We were heading to the hospital.

Around 10:15pm we were back at the hospital. They examined me...4cm!!!! Woohoo!!! I was admitted and we were off to begin this journey!

Now keep in mind that we had been up since Tuesday morning. We were both exhausted to say the least.

I changed up labor a bit by rotating between sitting in bed, sitting on the birthing ball, and walking around. The contractions were quite hard, but that didn't stop my eyes from crossing from sheer exhaustion in between each one. I would be sitting on the birthing ball and almost fall off from falling asleep in the couple of minutes I had between contractions.

I finally realized that I was going to have absolutely no strength or energy to push when it came time for that if I did not get some rest now. I called in the nurse and asked her to examine me.

7cm!!! Baby was at the 0 station!! Progress was being made!!! After a somewhat lengthy conversation with the nurse (her name was Jessica and she was 6 months pregnant), I decided that an epidural wouldn't be the end of the world. She was convinced that I would continue to progress. She actually told me that being able to rest would most likely speed things up. I was at the minimum requirements I had set for myself before getting an epidural. I went ahead and decided to get it.

Around 4:00am, I had the epidural. I didn't get the great sleep I was hoping for, but I was able to doze off here and there.

Around 7:00am I started to feel more pressure. I was asked if I would mind having an EMT-in-training guy in the room during the delivery. I said no. *As I think back on my answer, I really don't know what frame of mind I was in. I don't regret having him in there...it just strikes me as odd that I would allow a stranger in there. He walked away with some excellent visual images to assist him should he ever have to deliver a baby while on the job!!

Around 7:30am I was feeling even more pressure. The nurse had me do a few practice pushes during contractions to see how the baby moved.

A little after 8:00am, the doctor came in and I began pushing. The nurse asked if I wanted a mirror in there so I could see what was going on and I said yes. She walked in with a full-size mirror and I was able to watch the entire delivery!

My eyes continued to cross between pushes because I was still so stinkin' tired. At times I had 4-5 minutes between contractions and had a little time to rest, which was nice.

There were times when Jeremy & the nurse would comment on how much the head moved when I pushed. From my angle I could see the head, but I couldn't see much movement with each contraction. I just took their word for it.

The head seemed to come out so quickly! I was ready for some major pain & pushing and that just didn't happen. She just popped her cute little head out. Of course the resident doctor stepped in front of the mirror at that exact moment and I didn't get to see it all happen! I don't believe he realized what he did, and I started waving my hand saying "you're in front of the mirror." He finally stepped aside and I saw the most amazing thing ever! I couldn't believe it!

The doctor then apologized and told everyone "this is going to be messy." Everyone took a step back (except for Jeremy). Next thing I know I'm being sprayed with liquid. I had no idea what was going on...I thought it was amniotic fluid or something. Come to find out later, the baby's cord was around her neck (not tight and life-threatening) just enough that the doctor couldn't pull it over her head like she needed to before delivering the rest of the baby. She had to cut it right then...so the spraying liquid was actually blood! Jeremy describes it as a scene out of a movie and it all happening in slow motion. All I know is that when it was all said and done and I looked around, there was blood on the bed, on Jeremy's shirt, and apparently on my face. Oh well, such is life! :-)

Once she cut & clamped the cord, the baby came out in no time flat.

9:11am - Baby Johnson is born!!

She is immediately placed in my arms and I am overwhelmed that it has actually happened....I had a successful VBAC!!!!!

Holding her in my arms was such a blessing! Being able to see & feel everything during the entire delivery was amazing!! All the things that sent me into floods of tears the weeks after Layla's delivery (regrets of having a c-section) were accomplished with this one!! It was everything I could have hoped for and more!!

Giving birth is such an amazing process! I can't truly put into words the excitement and joy I felt having been able to delivery naturally.

Piper Marie Johnson was born on Friday, November 13 at 9:11am. She weighed 8lbs and 8oz, was 22" long and had a head covered in dark hair!

Layla has the privilege of being my first pregnancy, and Piper has the privilege of being my first delivery! Both are such a blessing in my life!! I am excited to see what the future has in store for my family of four!

I want to be "Left Behind"

I've never read the "Left Behind" series (1995-2007), nor have I ever really had the desire to. Not because I was against it in any way, or trying to avoid thinking about the End Times. I've just never been one for Christian fiction.

I remember watching a movie in youth group that was about the Rapture: A Thief in the Night (1972). I don't remember a whole lot about it. What sticks out the most is a girl running and the song "I Wish We'd All Been Ready" by Larry Norman playing quite often. DC Talk has since covered this song making it popular again (at least for my generation).

From what I gather (never having read the books myself), the book series, movie and song all deal with the fact that people will be "left behind" when Jesus comes again. He will take with him the Christians and the world that remains is not one in which you would desire to be left behind.

This is what I've always believed to be true.

This morning in church, the pastor said something that really rocked my world...left me sitting there with wide eyes and, after hearing the scriptures referenced, left a half-smile on my face.

"We want to be left behind."

What?! Come again?!

"We want to be left behind."

That's what I thought you said.

Let me back up...

The sermon this morning was about "The Parable of the Weeds" found in Matthew 13: 24-30, 36-43.

There are 2 kinds of people in the world: wheat & weeds.

vs. 40-42 - "As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them in the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Just as you pull up weeds from your garden and throw them out, so will the angels pull up the "weeds" and throw them out.

Move ahead a few chapters in Matthew to 24:37-41.

"As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left."

In the Parable of the Weeds you see that the weeds will be thrown out. The wheat is left behind in the garden.

In the flood, who was taken away? Who was left behind?

"...This is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man..."

Why would there be a sudden reversal in thought and the very next verses (40-41) come to mean the righteous are taken and the wicked remain?????

Doesn't really make sense, does it?

It makes me wonder where this theory that when Jesus returns, the believers will be taken away and the non-believers will remain.

Did it come about simply as a comfort method for believers...to dwell in the happy thoughts that we wouldn't be around for things mentioned in Revelation???? I don't know.

Isaiah 65 & Revelation 21 both speak of a new heaven and new earth. Why in the world would there need to be a new earth if all believers have been taken up to heaven??? Because they haven't. They have been left behind and the earth as it was intended to be, will be.

Perfect.

"There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

"...I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy...the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more. Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years" Isaiah 65:18-20

I want to be left behind!!

Oh the joys...

...of being pregnant!

Extreme hip pain at night

Leg cramps that wake you up in the worst way possible

Waking up every time you move because it's so stinkin' uncomfortable to turn

No sleep

People telling you how miserable you look (gee, thanks!)

Worries about if your baby is still breech

Not fitting into any of your clothes (even maternity!)

Needing new shoes that slip on b/c you can't bend over to tie anymore

Did I mention lack of sleep???

Spending all your planning time at work prepping for your maternity leave rather than grading the piles of papers cluttering up your desk

Stretch marks

Waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom

Swelling



But there are wonderful things as well...

Feeling your daughter move around inside you

Seeing her move around inside you

Hiccups

Ultrasounds that give you a peek inside the mysterious wonders of pregnancy

Not feeling guilty about eating that donut at church every Sunday

Dreaming about what she will look like

Thinking about the joys she will bring to your family

Knowing that this is the only time in your life when gaining weight is acceptable

Anticipation of her arrival into the world





The list may be shorter, but it definitely outweighs the first :-)

Heart

I realize I never updated about Layla's 2-D echo. She did very well through the procedure, falling asleep ended up being a much easier task than I had thought. However, when they got to the final views that could only be gotten by having her head tilted back and the sonogram stick thingy up under her neck, she woke up and was not a happy camper...at all! Needless to say, there were really no pictures done from this angle. We were crossing our fingers that this didn't mean we'd have to come back another day and try again. We didn't. Turns out her heart is perfectly normal!! Praise God.

Now if only I would have thought to ask the doctor if we could come back in a week to see if she still hears the murmur before scheduling such a procedure, life would have been a lot less stressful. Of course, had I done that, and the doctor been willing, and then we find out that there were issues with her heart I would have felt rather guilty holding off. I guess it's better to err on the side of caution, right?

I still think it was something with her lungs :-)

The Saga Continues

Layla's 18-month appointment was today. Or at least I thought it was today. After an hour in the waiting room and seeing 2 families that arrived after us get called in before us, I went to the check-in and asked how much longer we had. That's when I was informed that her appointment was actually yesterday! I honestly don't know how I got mixed up because I vividly remember putting the date into my phone calendar while standing at the desk 2 months ago when scheduling the appointment. Regardless, the lady apologized for missing that bit of info (HELLO, we checked in the moment we arrived!) and we finally saw the doctor 1.5 hours after arrival.

Jeremy and I were hoping for a minimum of 21 pounds with 22 pounds being the actual goal. Unfortunately, the scale read a mere 20.5 pounds. She has grown about an inch and a half, and her head has grown a centimeter. So it's not all frowns. Just a quick side note on the height growth...I'm pretty sure the last time they measured they were off, or the Dr. in Indy was off, because she showed a shrinkage between those two visits (if memory serves me correctly). So the 1.5 inches might not be exactly accurate, but I do feel she is taller regardless.

The doctor was extremely impressed with Layla's vocabulary!! She kept saying how she is way ahead of what is expected of an 18-month old in this area. Yay, Layla!! She was also thoroughly impressed with Layla's knowledge of all her body parts (right down to her neck, chin and difference between her hands and fingers)! She asked us if we were teaching her all this and our only response was that she truly just picks up on these things very quickly. I just happened to ask her a couple of days ago where her back was (never having mentioned it to her or pointed it out to her before) and much to my surprise she pointed it out immediately...and mom's and dad's which she has to do for everything.

The doctor also couldn't believe how active Layla was during the appointment. She was constantly going from one part of the room to the next, playing around with us and the doctor. I should add here that I was very happy with how well Layla stayed entertained and well-behaved during our extremely long wait in the lobby. *Knock on wood*

But the title of this post is "The Saga Continues" and we wouldn't be talking about Layla if yet another health issue didn't arise.

While the doctor was listening with her stethoscope (which Layla did EXCEPTIONAL with this time...remaining oh so still with her cute little ankles crossed at the foot of the bed) she turned and asked me if we had ever had a "2-D echo." My initial reaction was, "a what?" which I think answered the doctor's question for her. :-) She then went back to listening. And then question actually registered in my head...she was asking if we'd ever had any issues with her heart. As she continued to listen my head started reeling.

I attempted to pause any unnecessary thoughts by assuming she was actually hearing wheezing (Layla has had quite a cough for a week or so). However, this assumption was thwarted when she stopped her listening and turned to say "her chest sounds very clear."

You know how thoughts can pass through your mind in the split of a second and all at the exact moment? That's what happened at this point in time.

Are you sure it's clear? She's had such a cough lately. I hear & feel her chest rattling when I have my hands around her core. If you're saying the chest is clear, then you truly were listening to her heart. What's wrong? What did you hear? Why were you taking such a long time listening to her chest...you've never done that before...

She turns and states that she believes she hears a slight murmur with Layla's heart. Outside I remain rather calm, inside I'm...well I don't even know what I was inside - but there was a definite difference between the two parts of me - as if I could have been two separate people standing there.

She then goes on to tell us not to worry. She didn't hear any sort of blaring murmur that screamed of any type of immediate attention. Just something ever so slight that she wants to get checked out with an ultrasound.

I'm pretty sure she spat out several names for murmurs, or several types. Either I wasn't able to listen because my head was still trying to grasp this bit of news or she stopped and didn't really elaborate any more because I don't recall her telling us what she feels it might be. I do know she began saying that "it could be something that you or I..." and then she stopped. In my head I finished the sentence for her "could have once had and outgrew." I'm not sure why she stopped...I think it's because Layla was beginning to get very antsy/fussy and was tossing around the tissue paper they use to cover the beds with which was quite loud and distracting.

She just stated again for us not to worry.

And that's where we currently stand. We're waiting to get a call to see when our scheduled "2-D echo" is...it will be sometime this week or next.

A part of me still hopes that she was just hearing something with Layla's lungs - I went in expecting to hear this...I'm used to lung issues and can handle them. But she's a doctor...she listens to many lungs and hearts every day. I'm sure she knows the difference between lung gunk and heart murmurs.

Learning & Growing

Layla loves to throw things away. She actually gets mad (nearing quite a fit) when I throw something away and not her. Most any paper item that she can get her hands on gets crumpled up and then she looks up to me and says, "away!" Dirty diapers are now her responsibility - an undertaking she has voluntarily taken upon herself. I have to admit, it is quite cute hearing her walk around saying, "away - away" :-)

She has also takin' a liking to the word yellow. If you ask her what color something is, her response is always "yellow" - putting the emphasis on "-ow". She gets her mouth so cute and round :-) She is also very good at saying "purple" - the ladies at day care even commented on it. She doesn't put the endings on other colors such as red and green. My guess is it's a consonant thing. It's interesting that the words she prefers are seemingly harder words. I think she just enjoys making the "l" sound.

We have added some new animal sounds to the list as well. Elephant, monkey, frog, owl, and bee are the ones I can think of at the moment. The elephant is the cutest to witness, but I think the frog is the cutest to hear.

Kisses are abundant! She puckers out her bottom lip and leans forward. Too cute!! She especially loves to give them before going to bed or down for a nap - I think it's a bit of a stall tactic :-)

Climbing is a favorite past time. She is often sitting on the back of the couch, much like a cat. Just today I found her on the bench in the dining room. I am a bit perplexed at how she got up there b/c it's higher than other things she's gotten on to and there was nothing around to assist her.

She enjoys pointing out things that are mine ("momma") or Jeremy's ("dadda"). She will repeat our names over and over and over until we acknowledge that we have heard her. She also says her name surprisingly well.

In response to the question "How old are you?" she holds up her right pointer finger - but it's always right next to her nose and angled just slightly. I'll have to get a picture and post it.

She pats my belly and says "baby." However, I don't truly think she understands. She clearly says both "baby" and "belly" so it's not an issue of miscommunication. It's interesting to hear...I wish I could know what's going on in her mind. She sometimes pats too hard and I tell her to "be nice" and she she'll then start rubbing my belly. :-) Hopefully I'm not confusing her by saying "there's a baby in my belly"...maybe she's beginning to associate all bellies with babies - or thinking she's had the word wrong in the past and now only calls it "baby." Yikes! That'd be embarrassing...have her walk up to someone, touch their belly and say "baby" - haha!

We transitioned her to big-girl baths over the summer rather than sitting in her infant/toddler tub. At first she refused to sit...but she got over that and loves bath time even more than she did before! I bought a skid-resistant mat that's a piece of junk!! It's got no fewer than 20 little suction cups (**update: I just counted 50!!!)that won't stay down...so the mat is constantly floating up. I'm so annoyed!!! However, I'll hold out until we get into a new house and she has a bathroom of her own that we can put down some of those more permanent skid-sticker things on the bottom of the tub.

*Update: I forgot to mention that one of her canine teeth has officially poked through...just waiting on the other 3 to follow suit. It won't be long until my baby girl has 16 teeth!

Things aren't all mushy and happy, though. She still throws tantrums...mostly when I won't pick her up (b/c I'm busy attempting to clean, cook dinner or do something other than giver her all my attention). She learned quickly that she must say "up" and "please" before I will stop what I'm doing to hold her. Of course the words now come through crying...we'll have to work on her calming down before being picked up, but for now I'm happy that she's using her words.

She's also still into hitting. It hasn't seemed to be an issue at daycare, though - so that's a plus. Time-outs haven't been as effective. I have simply been restraining her hands and holding her in my lap. The last few times she actually seemed to enjoy being in my lap. I've tried out a corner in the house the last 2 times - the first time was a success (in that she did not enjoy it at all)...but just today she sat there almost happy - maybe b/c I sit right there in front of her making sure she doesn't get up. But the interesting thing is, after time was up and she said sorry, she walked right to the mirror and hit herself via the mirror. I asked her if she needed another time out and she walked right to the corner and sat!! Apparently this isn't that effective, either. It's going to remain our time-out spot until I can think of another option. She has learned that hitting mom & dad is usually what ends her up in time-out...so she has resorted to hitting herself. Ugh! I can't wait until she comes up with better ways to vent her frustrations.

Looking mom in the eyes while I tell her that a specific action is a no-no is becoming more and more difficult for her to do. It's amazing how quickly kids learn that it's not easy to look mom in the eyes and admit you were wrong. We have had time-outs last longer than they should simply b/c she refuses to say "sorry." Oiy!

Lessons Learned in Yardwork

1.) Invest in knee pads, especially when having to kneel on/over concrete (ouch!).






















2.) Being ambidextrous would come in quite handy - evening out the playing field for your arms

3.) Ensure that the hole is indeed deep enough for your plant. The first hole I dug wasn't and I knew immediately upon placing in the plant that it probably wasn't going to make it (despite my best efforts to remedy the problem). Here it is just 2 days later :-(















4.) You can in fact trim a tree with just a bow saw, ladder and 2 people (one sawing and one pulling the branches down). Gloves help tremendously for the one holding the branches down.















5.) Know your neighbors - they just might have the tool you need. Thanks for the saw, Clara!

6.) A weed-eater that turns 90 degrees does wonders for trimming the edges of your sidewalk.






















7.) Two flats of impatiens go a long way!

8.) A sprinkler system would be amazing! I fear I will soon slack in my watering and kill all my hard work :-/






















9.) It is all quite enjoyable - it's nice to be outside in the dirt every now and then :-)

Chatter-box

Miss Layla has become quite the chatter-box. She has always been a talker, but these last two weeks she has really stepped it up.

She's mimicking what we say. New words have been added to her vocabulary in just a short amount of time.

She jabbers ALL the time!

She has always liked "talking" on her cell phone...which simply consisted of holding it up to her ear (head tilted slightly) and saying "hi."















Now she walks around with her phone carrying on a conversation in her own little language. If only I had a video to show.

She will say something and look up at me as if I should understand what she just said. Talking to us (and herself) has become quite the norm.

It's actually nice as she will entertain herself a bit better now...reading a book and talking away.

She is currently talking to herself in the mirror on the closet door

Some of her new words are: all done, apple, nana, pappaw, hat, eye, nose, mouth, toe, wow, whoa. Add these to her other list of words and she's developing quite a vocabulary.

She says more in a mimicking fashion ("say ____")...but if you were to hear them outside of that context, you probably couldn't make out what she's saying.

She knows some animal sounds (dog, cat, cow, sheep, snake, and duck sort-of).

She can point to all her body parts (head, ears, nose, mouth, eyes, hands, arms, feet, toes, knees, belly). She prefers to point out the parts of others, though.

If you open a book and ask her to find various items she will point to them (i.e. cloud, flower, mouse, fish, lots of animals).

I am just amazed at how much she learns every day.

Might we have a little girl who will be one of those kids that just never stops talking??? Lord, let me think it's as cute then as it is now. :-)

Vitamins, Shadows, & Chess

I have been completely awful about taking my prenatal vitamins with this pregnancy. I wasn't the greatest with Layla, but this is just ridiculous. I *maybe* have taken a grand total of 2 weeks worth of vitamins :-/ Jeremy teases that our child is going to have a third arm. He said this with Layla and I just laughed it off...but this go-around I have quite a bit more guilt and truly hope I haven't affected this baby in a negative way with my lack of proper nutrient/vitamin consumption.

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Several weeks ago Layla found her shadow for the first time. It was so stinkin' cute to watch! It kept her occupied for 7-10 minutes and had me laughing the entire time. She would run over where she could see it in front of her and do several things. She first "ooo-oooo-ooooed" in perfect Layla fashion while looking back and forth from her shadow to me. She would bend down in an attempt to touch it and/or pick it up. She waved her arms around while watching her shadow do the same thing. She waved her head back and forth. But the cutest part of it all was her side-stepping over to me to get away from it...keeping an eye on her shadow and watching in wonderment/amazement/confusion (I don't know?) as it followed her right along. She would then give up and run right to me and turn around to see that her shadow had disappeared. She would run back over to the foyer (where she could see it the best) and repeat the process over again. TOO CUTE!!! If only I had a video camera to capture the moment...

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Let me just preface by stating that I have been thinking about this particular blog topic for quite some time...before I even had a blog...and I could possibly go on and on about it, but I'll stick to the main points.

Driving is quite comparable to a chess game. Although I'm not a chess player (I think I've played twice in my life), I know to be good you have to think several steps ahead.

I don't know why I never got into chess because I actually enjoy games with this type of mental requirement. Actually, I'm sure I never got into it solely because it was a game my dad was always wanting to teach me and have me play. Oh how I can wait for those days when Layla chooses to do quite the opposite of what I suggest/advise.

But I'm getting off topic.

Driving.

I am constantly thinking several steps ahead while driving. Not so much in an effort to prevent accidents (which is how I should be using such mental acuteness), but as a way to get me where I want to go sooner. Looking ahead to see what lane I need to be in...judging this info. not simply on the car in front of me, but the cars 5 or 6 ahead of me. This might require me to go against my initial instinct to switch lanes, but I feel such success when I begin passing those cars in that particular lane.

This also applies to stoplights and stop signs. Depending on the color of the ligt as I begin to approach determines if I continue on to the light or turn sooner to avoid a red light.

With that said, it truly is one of my pet-peeves to be riding with someone who doesn't "play the game" like I do. It's fairly easy for me to bite my tongue when I'm in a car with a friend or acquaintance. However, I have had to do quite a bit of tongue-biting when in the car with my wonderful husband Jeremy.

It really shouldn't bother me so much. I should just enjoy the ride. But I can't help it...it's a game that was ingrained into my being from all the driving back and forth from college my freshman year at ISU. It's just a part of who I am.

This speaks of my natural competitive nature, I think. I have to be doing the best, picking the best options, getting somewhere the fastest way possible, etc. It's a character trait I have been working on over the past several years when it comes to playing actual games with company. I guess some are turned away from a competitive nature...but it's seriously all in fun.

Unless of course you are blatantly not being fair. I have a perfect example of this happening during a game of Monopoly.

But I'm off topic again.

I will continue to play my chess game as I drive. I will most likely continue to predict appropriate moves for the driver as a passenger...but will work on not getting so inwardly frustrated when the driver does not have the same strategy (or no strategy at all) as me.

Lego Friends

This morning in church the pastor compared our intimate friendships with a Lego block. A person can have roughly 8 intimate friendships in his/her life (maybe a couple more, maybe a couple less) - just as a Lego can hold up to 8 different pieces on its frame.

I long for my Lego friends!

I never truly had these Lego friends until I began college. I had always longed for them and never understood why I never had a true best friend. I think maybe God was just giving me no reason to rely on anyone else but Him.

College began and so did my life with Legos! I found friendships that quickly became the closest ones I'd ever had. Life was wonderful.

College graduation came around and slowly my Legos were leaving. It took a couple of years, but eventually all my Legos left town (aside from my hubby whom I love dearly).

This was a very difficult time...

I don't think there is a time in your life that so perfectly allows you to develop such intimate relationships as college.

I've learned to deal with the fact that my Legos are not able to swing by for a nice chat or fun evening out.

Have I dealt with it well? If you consider swallowing my time with work and family "well", then I guess you could say yes.

But I am a woman! I need my relationships! My husband is wonderful...but I need some girls to simply hang with, let loose with, etc.

Will I ever have the opportunity to create such relationships again? I hope so...but I'm not holding my breath for any time soon.

An old girl scout (?) song just popped in my head - Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold

I am in NO WAY looking to replace my current Legos! They are irreplaceable! But I do still have a few prongs left for some new ones.

Maybe God is once again telling me I simply need to solely rely on Him and it's taken me 3 years to figure it out...

Links

I have added a spot to the right to add some favorite links. I'm pretty excited about the first one on the list. I JUST discovered it about 10 minutes ago so I have yet to try any recipes...but I'm looking forward to several I saw in my quick visit!!!

CT Awards Night

We were graciously asked to be a part of the Awards Night at the Community Theater last night. Jeremy performed a musical number and Layla and I presented two awards. She did an excellent job during her stage debut! :-)

How I miss being in shows! The day will come again when I have the time (and energy) to perform on stage. Until then, I am blessed with the opportunity to raise such a beautiful little girl!

Here are a few pics of the night:


Cheesin' for the camera before we left. I ended up changing headbands b/c the red was too bright...it was a cute headband, too :-(






















Family picture backstage





Cutie!











Look at those molars!

unsettled

About 2 weeks ago, Jeremy & I watched Marley & Me for the first time. There was a part of the story that really got to me. **Warning - spoiler alert - skip the rest of this paragraph if you don't want to hear about the movie** I'll get straight to the point...in the movie, Jennifer Aniston's character gets pregnant! At 10 weeks, they go in for their first ultrasound and find there is no heartbeat...the baby has died. Coincidentally, I was also 10 weeks pregnant at the time. We had just had our first visit didn't get to hear the heartbeat like we were hoping for. Not because they couldn't find it, but because they didn't even try. I was already feeling a little uneasy still not hearing the baby's heartbeat - and now I see a movie where they find out there is no heartbeat when the woman is as far along in her pregnancy as me! Fabulous!

We ended up breaking the news to everyone publicly, despite not yet hearing the heartbeat. However, I still have yet to tell my co-workers. Partly because there hasn't been a good chance. But mostly it's because I don't want to have to explain to these people that I barely know that I have had a miscarriage (if that were to even be the case).

I would feel so much more comfortable if I can just hear the heartbeat!

Do you remember Might Molly and her dear parents? They found out about a month before Jeremy & I that they are pregnant again!! It was very exciting news!! They're due date is Oct. 19 and ours is Nov. 18.

I came home today to read this. My heart aches for my dear friend and her husband! I can't fathom the pain they're feeling yet again.

And that is why this particular post has come into being. I was once again reminded of Marley & Me...and it has hit closer to home with a friend. Both stories about as far along as I am now when they were told the news.

All I can do is continue to pray for this little one and his/her little heart (and healthy growth).

To sum it all up, I am now even more unsettled about not yet hearing the baby's heartbeat. I will probably now be waiting until our next appointment (May 21) to break the news to my co-workers. I never dreamed I'd wait that long! But as the date gets closer, it's getting a little easier to do.

I can only hope for a speck of the strength & faith of my dear friend, Becca, if we were to hear the same news...

donuts & aromas

Two more differences with this pregnancy.

1.) I am accepting a donut on Sundays at church. I never did this with Layla...the entire pregnancy! I know, I surprised myself each Sunday when I politely said "no, thanks" when asked if I wanted a donut. This time around I'm not even waiting to be asked...I just go get one! Yikes! This cannot become a habit the entire pregnancy! I'm already 10-15 pounds heavier than I was with Layla :-/

2.) Aromas affect me more than they did with Layla. I don't recall being bothered by smells. I do think my sense of smell was increased, but that's about all I remember. I definitely have to walk out of a room at times when there is a smell too powerful for me. It has never driven me to get sick...but definitely nauseous.

eventful Saturday

We had a fun Saturday! It's been quite a while since we actually got out of the house and did something....we're such bums! *We will forget the fact that I was actually supposed to be in Indy today completing my 3rd mini-marathon*

First we ate lunch at Olive Garden. Yummy! Layla did SO well with her eating (by her standards)!! She also sat very nicely in her highchair...something that has not been so pretty in the recent past.

I was then dropped off at Kohl's while Jeremy & Layla went to pay for our storage unit. I found pajamas with feet! It took me forever to find them...I about gave up. They were at the very top in the far corner. It took all I had to simply look for sizes, but we have two new pair.

We then went to the Exotic Feline Rescue Center for the first time. Wow! I will have a post all about this adventure soon. I will quickly say that I am very impressed there is something like this in Indiana...let alone near where I live!

We then went to ISU to recycle...only to discover we were 3 hours past the closing time.

I had Jeremy stop by Wendy's to pick me up a Frosty for my aching throat. I was sorely disappointed! It did not do what I was needing...I felt NOTHING going down my throat. It was as if the Frosty turned to air before it hit my esophagus. I guess next time it's straight ice cream.

Layla crashed and Jeremy & I sat and watched a Redbox movie...gotta love it!

We woke her up for about an hour and a half before actually putting her to bed. During this time, she actually sat down in her highchair (without throwing a fit), ate half a fish "square" and many bites of pudding!! Hallelujah!!!

She's back down for the night, Jeremy's off to school to make lesson plans for Monday as he has been called to jury selection, and I am about to hit the hay and hope to be feeling better in the morning. A bowl of cocoa puffs might be calling my name first, though. :-)

Stay tuned for some fun pictures of some VERY big cats!




***On a side note...I can't believe I still haven't blogged about Layla's first birthday party!!! She's 14 months now...is 2 months past too late to blog? I'll get to it...eventually...

big girl pajamas

We're putting away the 6-9 month winter pajamas and busting out the new ones! Wait...I'm digging through her tote of 12 month clothes...no pajamas! This is the first time since she's been w/o pajamas from showers, cousins or older "friends."

Off to Wal-Mart I go...

Can you believe there were no 12 month pajamas with feet at Wal-Mart?!?! It must be the season because I KNOW I've seen my niece & nephew in footed (is that a word?) pajamas past the age of one.

Looks like two-piece pajamas are now in our vocabulary.

Check out this big girl in her new pajamas!



Freshly bathed and munchin' on a Scooby Snack



*Disregard the laundry on the couch*

Isn't she just adorable!! She looks so big!

I am a bit worried that her little feet are going to be freezing! My feet are always cold! I should have put socks on her before putting her to bed....wait....we're out of socks that fit comfortably. Looks like we'll be off to Wal-Mart again tomorrow for some "sleeping" socks - may as well get some day socks while we're at it.

For tonight, she might find herself covered in a blanket for the first time. We haven't used any blankets since we stopped swaddling. She honestly rolls around FAR too much for blankets to be of any use. Trial run...unless I get too paranoid about a blanket in her crib before going to bed myself...

eye-opening weekend

I had a thought today...

Layla used to be an excellent eater. She would tear through baby food like nobody's business. The doctor was quite impressed with how many jars she would eat in a day (despite lack of "normal" weight gain).

She began eating "people" food and did very well with that, too.

Somewhere along the journey, though, she has become a very poor eater.

I have been chalking it up to teething. This could still be the issue as she has seemingly been in a constant state of teething for months on end now. I think we're up to 12, but I have lost count.

However, last weekend I was with some former co-workers and their little girls (1-2 months younger than Layla) and saw just how well they ate. I was quite impressed. They both would open wide any time mom brought a piece of food to their mouths. Not a head shake, not a tight-lipped rejection, not a hand-flapping fit...an immediate positive reaction. It opened my eyes at just how bad Layla's eating habits have become.

Then I started wondering...

Have we created in her an aversion to food because we were feeding her foods with egg in them that made her feel all funny inside?

It has been slightly over a week since she has been on an egg-free diet. We haven't seen an improvement yet. She did eat a little better today. *knock on wood*

I'm not sure how long it takes to rid an element from your body.

She has shown quite a bit more interest in her formula, though. Maybe because this has never made her feel funny??

Maybe it is simply teething and it doesn't bother her like food does.

Maybe we're just destined to have a picky eater on our hands. Lord knows I sure was when I was younger...

Pregnancy talk

Those of you who read my blog (and there are more than I realized!) should feel lucky...you've known several weeks longer than most other people about my pregnancy. I guess that's a little perk for following my blog :-)

It's late, so I'm going to attempt to make this brief. We'll see how I do. :-)

This pregnancy has been quite different than that first...at least the first trimester. Here's a run-down of the differences so far:

1.) More nausea, less vomiting. I had at least a good month of vomiting with Layla. I feel like it was nearly every day. I've had one day with this little peanut (and I'm not entirely convinced it was pregnancy related, but rather a 24-hour bug of some sort). I do feel actual nausea has been more severe with this pregnancy. I'm not sure which is better...longer-lasting nausea or vomiting every day and getting it over with. I'd simply prefer to have neither.

2.) "Morning" sickness has hit in the evenings the last two weeks or so. Before that it was definitely in the mornings. With Layla it was entirely in the morning. This being nauseous in the evenings isn't quite as strong as when it hits in the mornings, but not fun never-the-less.

3.) Extreme exhaustion. I don't remember being so exhausted with Layla at the end of the day. I think I'm past the worst of it *knock on wood* as I have had a bit more energy the past week or so.

4.) Heartburn. I never experienced heartburn during my entire pregnancy with Layla. In fact, I don't think I've ever had heartburn. There's an old wives tale that says heartburn means a baby with lots of hair. Layla definitely had lots of hair at birth, so I have busted that myth. I wouldn't say it's severe heartburn, just an annoying ache of sorts. I can't really describe it. I've had it maybe 5 times thus far. From what I remember reading my first pregnancy (because I'm definitely not engrossed in literature on the subject this go-around), this is one symptom that isn't typically experienced in a single trimester, but the entire pregnancy. I'm going to hope this isn't the case for me. :-)

5.) Cramping. I had two days (not in a row) where I was fairly crampy. It actually made me a bit nervous. The last incident has been maybe 2 weeks ago now, so it apparently was nothing bad. Regardless, I hope to not experience it again.

There might be one or two more differences that I can't think of at the moment. I'll be sure to blog if I think of any I missed...or if more should arise.

In no way am I implying that this means I'm pregnant with a boy. In fact, I have no "feelings" on whether it's a boy or girl. I'm not even sure which I would prefer...but this topic is for another post.

I am chalking up the differences to the fact that I am teaching full-time with this pregnancy and I was only working in the afternoons during the first trimester with Layla. Actually, I wasn't working at all for the first half of the first trimester (summer break). I had the "opportunity" to get sick with Layla. I had the mornings to just lay* around on the couch. Therefore, I wasn't so exhausted, either.

The fact that I have approx. 10-15 more pounds on me than I did at this time with Layla's pregnancy is probably playing a role in the differences, too. However, I am DETERMINED to be more active during this pregnancy than the last. Having a little one already will most likely help...and the fact that I won't be suffering from first-trimester woes during the summer should also help.

In case you're wondering, we will again be finding out the sex of this baby and will let you know when we find out.

*I'm not afraid to admit that I had to look up online to make sure I was correct in using lay instead of lie. English teachers are allowed to use their resources, too. :-)

New diet

We have an appointment with an allergist here in Terre Haute next month. Until then, we're on an egg-free diet. Joy of joys!

I found some things to use instead of egg (baking powder, water, vinegar). I'm interested to see how things turn out using this method.

I'm also interested to see how things improve over the course of the next month...hopefully the scratching, runny nose, coughing all disappear!

As we suspected

Layla has an egg-white allergy. She's on the low end of moderate on the scale. We are now waiting to hear back from the actual doctor early next week for "recommendations." I'm not really sure what that means. The nurse did mention that they typically refer patients to allergists when a test comes back positive. Hopefully we can see one in Terre Haute if that is the case.

Although we know for sure that she does have an egg allergy, at this point we don't really know what that entails. We have a lot of questions now, more so than we did before we were certain of an allergy.

Can we continue giving her foods that have eggs cooked/baked in them?
Is there a possibility of her moving up the scale and her allergy worsening?
Is this something she will out-grow?
Will we know if this is the cause of her scratching?
Are her respiratory issues at all affected by this*?

I'm sure the answer to some of these questions will simply be by trial-and-error. Eliminate all egg-containing foods for a certain period of time and see if anything improves. I think we're in for a fun little summer if this is the case.

As we hear more, I'll be sure to post.


*Yesterday was the last day of treatment with her breathing machine. If you remember, the doctor was treating her for asthma without actually diagnosing her with it. However, as I'm typing I'm listening to her cough during her nap which I haven't heard in a while. Should I still continue her treatments each morning? Ugh!

Anxiously waiting

I am definitely wanting to hear the results of her allergy test. I definitely DON'T want her to have any allergies to food. However, it will ease my mind a bit as to why she is constantly scratching herself. It almost seems to be a habit. She constantly scratches the same spot over and over until she's red & raw. :-( The location of scratching lately has been her lower back. Before that it was the back of her neck/upper back. She would always have scratches on the top of her back that looked awful. At least now her location of choice is usually covered with a layer of clothing to prevent too much damage. But as soon as her clothes come off for a diaper change her hands go immediately to her back and begin scratching away! If she's wearing just a shirt instead of a onesie, she can easily lift it up and begin scratching. I feel so bad for her.

If tests come back positive, I really hope a change in her diet changes her compulsive scratching.

If tets come back negative, I'm not sure what to do about the situation.

"No!"

Apparently "no" is quite amusing for Layla. She definitely knows what the word means. However, it somehow evokes a feeling of joy in her when we say it. She thinks it's fun (a game?) when we pull her away from whatever she's doing. This can be quite frustrating.

Tonight there was an incident that actually lead me to tears...tears of laughter. You see, she's gotten into a bad habit of "beating" items on our entertainment center. The "beating" usually occurs on the glass door. Definitely not good. Items of choice are typically a remote or her sippy cup (which has lead to some nice opaque streams down the glass). We tell her "no" and she usually smiles/smirks/laughs and continues until we pull her away. She thinks this is fun and most likely will walk right back.

Might I add that every time she is hitting the door...she's looking at us as she's approaching with her hand in the air...she's looking at us the entire time she's hitting...and she's smiling at us when we say "no"...and on and on it goes.

However, tonight she did something slightly different. As always, she walked up to the entertainment center (watching us the entire time) and began smacking her sippy cup against the door. We said "no" several times to no avail. Jeremy stood up to take the sippy from her and she immediately stopped and brought the cup down into both hands. Jeremy sat back down, Layla began hitting the door. We said "no" and she continued. Jeremy stood up and she immediately brought the cup down into both hands...as if to say "I stopped." Jeremy sat back down and Layla started hitting again. Jeremy stood up and Layla pulled her sippy back down. At this point "no" was out of the rotation because we were too busy trying to stifle our laughter. I don't know how many times we watched this routine...enough for me to spout out "we should be videoing this!" through my laughter and tears.

Oh my. Parenthood has begun full-swing!

What do you do with a 1-year-old to stop a behavior that's inappropriate? "No" isn't enough...removing her from the location doesn't work as she simply walks right back. Time-out is too advanced. Flicking of the hand sometimes gets her upset and other times not...but I don't know if she's truly recognizing that the flicking happens b/c of her actions. I can sit and read a book with her or try and distract her with another toy, but how will she learn that her previous actions were wrong?? Ugh!


**At some point I'm sure I'll be writing a post with the same subject line...only the discussion will be about my frustrations with her constantly saying "no." I can definitely wait for that one...

T.V.

Layla does not really watch TV. It's on (FAR too much!) but she is content playing around the living room with whatever she can get her little hands on.

Yesterday the midday news had a man from the Humane Society there with this adorable puppy that needed a home. I pointed to the TV and said "dog". Layla looked up and got so excited she started dancing!! It was too cute!

Apparently this morning (while my loving husband let me sleep), Layla was being a bit difficult and not wanting much to do with anything. He was flipping through the channels and found a Best in Show dog show. She watched it! I came out into the living room and relieved him. Much to my surprise, she just sat on my lap and watched...she NEVER does that! She loves dogs :-)




**On a side note** I'm surprised every day by what she knows. She knows a couple of signs (which we haven't taught her), says several words (or first syllable of words), and will have a floor full of toys and pick out things that you ask (i.e. ball, duck, shoe). I know this is probably age appropriate...but it seriously seems like yesterday that she didn't know anything. When did she get so smart?!?!?!

Indy update

We went back to Indy Monday to see Layla's GI doctor. She's back on the growth chart!! No tests were run! We have another follow-up in 3 months. However, if we feel she's doing fine, we can cancel.

On a side note, they ended up testing her for food allergies. We had to get her blood drawn and have another week or so of waiting to hear the results. This blood drawing experience was MUCH better than our first on here in Terre Haute. I think there were a lot of factors into why - at a Children's hospital, Layla was tired, I knew how to hold her - I think the fact that it was a lady who only deals with children helped a lot.

The reason for the test came because of a quick question the nurse practitioner (apparently Layla's first doctor up and moved to Canada!) asked at the end of the visit asking if we've had any issues with food. We gave Layla some scrambled eggs about a month ago and her lip swelled in the middle, she had some splotches on her face and later her eyes became very red and itchy. We gave her some Children's Benadryl and all was fine. The nurse seemed pretty concerned that her lip actually swelled the first time and thinks that maybe some of the respiratory issues we've had could be tied to food allergies. She tolerates foods with eggs baked in them. Or at least we think she does. Maybe her seemingly constant runny nose has something to do with that. We're currently just waiting.

Although we haven't enjoyed needing to go to Indy - it has now given us 2 opportunities to eat at Chick-fil-A :-)

Merit Pay

I'm going to get on my soap box, but make it brief. I think it's ridiculous to think about merit pay for teachers based on their students' performances on standardized tests! I know, I know, you expect me to be accountable for my students...and I am. But to base my excellence on another human's ability to perform under the stress/pressure that comes with tests like that is ludicrous! Let's not even factor in all the possible scenarios that enter the classroom with the student....hunger from not eating since lunch the previous day, weariness from lack of sleep b/c of awful home environments, worry/fear of what awaits them at home, hormonal anger that is blocking clear thoughts from the brain, hormonal anything, test-taking "freeze", undiagnosed learning disorders, any learning disorder, lack of parental involvement/support, etc. etc. etc.

I am by no means making excuses...I am accountable for what my students learn. I work hard every day. But the fact of the matter is, no matter what I do, how hard I try, what changes I make, there are students who simply won't pass b/c of their attitude or lack of knowledge (for various factors).

If I could allow you to teach in my classroom (or any classroom) for a span of a couple of months, I would be more than happy to do so! Maybe then you might begin to understand why teachers should not be held accountable solely on achievement of standardized tests!

Thank you. :-)

Refreshing

I have been loving having the windows open the past 2 days! Fresh air flowing through the house after months and months of stagnant air is so refreshing!

It's got me thinking...is there anywhere in the country that has 70-80 degree weather all year???? Wouldn't that be beyond fabulous! No need for air conditioning, no need for heat. A breeze blowing through your house on any given day. Ahhh...lovely!

Of course, I would miss the snowball and hot, pool-splashing weather...but that's what a car is for. :-)

1-year appointment

Jeremy took Layla to her 1-year appointment today. Our goal weight was 18lbs. That would keep us on track with what the specialist is wanting to see.

Head - 44 cm (if I remember correctly)

Height - 27 1/4 in. (not a lot of growth here...actually, according to the measurements at the specialist's a month ago she has lost 3/4in. in height...something's not correct b/c I'm positive she isn't shrinking!)

Weight - 17lbs 4.8 oz! Ugh!

The doctor liked the gain on paper (this is the most she has gained in quite some time), but does not like the fact that Layla's not catching up the way she should be. So we now have a new "recipe" for mixing her formula. Which...apparently she's not doing as well with the sippy cup as we thought.

We have nothing to base our assumptions on as far as how much she should be drinking as we've strictly nursed up until a month ago. She has really been guzzling it down each day. Or so we thought. I guess the doctor was surprised that she's only drinking 12-15oz. a day. Jeremy didn't think to ask how much she should be drinking. I will probably be calling in to the office early next week.

She only gets about one 5-6oz. cup down at daycare and then she drinks another 6-10oz. at home. We try to give her some in the morning before we leave, but it's never much. I feel like all she does is drink or eat when she's home so I'm not really sure what else to do. I do know that she (for some reason) doesn't seem to drink as much at daycare as she does on the weekends. I have a guess that it's because she eats drier foods here. However, she just started her big girl meal plan at daycare so I'm hoping we start seeing an improvement in her drinking (although there wasn't a huge one this week).

Regardless, I can definitely tell her legs have thickened up. Maybe she just needed an adjustment period and will now really pack on the weight. I hope so because if she isn't 20lbs by April 6 the specialist is going to see about running some tests. :-(

Normalcy returning

Things are returning to normal in the chest area...finally!

Cold Turkey

Layla and I have gone cold turkey with nursing. I know it sounds harsh, but we were only on 2 nursings a day anyway (morning and night) and I haven't felt like those have been hugely successful as of late. A few days before her first birthday I really started thinking that I was ready to be done with nursing. I decided that her last day as an "infant" (a.k.a. under one) would be the last day of nursing.

Sunday came and I informed Layla that it would be her last day :-)

Monday came and there were no issues skipping the morning nursing. I took the day off and it was easy to just wake up and put her in the high chair to feed her breakfast with a sippy cup.

Monday evening came and I was really just wanting that time with her to "snuggle." I didn't realize that I would miss the physical contact like that. She never stops moving, and that has been the only time she would let me hold her in a snuggly position while still awake. Lately, though, even that was a struggle (which is why I knew we were both ready).

However, I caved to my desires and we nursed the evening of her birthday. I figured it wasn't bad...a little birthday treat. :-)

Tuesday morning was nice because I could get myself ready for work and didn't have to set aside time for nursing.

Tuesday evening I was feeling the desire to nurse again. I then started wondering what our evening routine was going to look like from here on out. Before, she would eat dinner, bathe if necessary, get into pajamas, sit on the couch with mommy & nurse, go into her room and listen to a bit of music as I held her and she calmed down even more to rest her head on my shoulder, and then put her in her crib to allow herself to fall asleep. Nursing was such an integral part of that routine. I wasn't sure how I could go from pajamas to bed with no transition. Then it came to me...

READ!

So we sat on a chair in her room and read a book together a few times over. I wasn't sure if this was the best transitional method because she was seemingly excited about the book and not relaxing as I had hoped. But I kept going, thinking the newness would wear off and over time she would eventually learn that this was quiet time.

We went to bed with no problems like usual!

Today I have felt "fuller" than I have in quite some time. The nagging thought of nursing at night was with me all day. But a part of me knew that once I sat down to nurse, I would once again be thinking how it's time to quit or wonder how I would ever transition if I couldn't do it now. So I pushed through.

Reading tonight was not quite as successful. She cried very heavily for a while as I held her in my lap to read - I think she wanted to play with the stuffed animals around the chair. Those will be removed tomorrow. :-)

While we were reading and she was crying, I noticed I started leaking!!!! I can't even remember the last time I leaked! Just another little thing to push me back to thinking of nursing at night only.

She finally calmed and started playing with and talking to the book again.

I stood up to sway to the music with her and she was crying yet again. I began leaking yet again. Ugh! I finally just laid her down in the crib and left.

She is currently crying/staying awake longer than she has in quite some time.

Her fighting to relax and me putting her in the crib before she rests her head on my shoulders isn't new...but all this crying tonight really makes me wonder...does she miss the nursing or is this just an off night???

Needless to say, I haven't caved since Monday evening. I'm sure that my milk production will end soon. Which leads to another question lingering around in my head...do I simply just stop and "dry out" or is there another method?

I sure hope there is no leakage tomorrow at work...I gave my sister all my bra pads!

I've never really had an addiction to anything, but I think I can now sympathize (on a much smaller scale) with those trying to fight one. I'm sure the thoughts/desires to nurse will increase over the next day or so. Hopefully once my supply decreases, and Layla and I get used to the new routine, my urges to nurse will also decrease.

I do wonder if I should have even stopped...I never told myself I was quitting at a year, never had a deadline, I just new I wanted to make it to at least a year. It just turned out that I really started thinking "I'm done" right around her first birthday. I do think we were both ready...but now I'm not so sure.

Okay...there's the "addiction" talking. I think we'll both be just fine :-)

**I'll post about her first birthday in the near future.

Old MySpace blogs

I'm getting rid of my MySpace account so I thought I'd transfer over my old blogs. I didn't do much blogging, but if I ever get sentimental I thought it'd be nice to have them.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Any day now!
Current mood: anxious


I realize I haven't blogged in quite some time. A lot has changed since my last blog...mainly being my pregnant belly! I'm almost 39 weeks pregnant!

As of week 38, baby Johnson was 8lbs! Based on averages (I'm assuming), her head measured at 38 weeks 1 day, stomach at 38 weeks 5 days, and femur at 39 weeks. Does this mean she's going to have long legs and a small head? If so, she's the opposite of me! haha.

I'm very excited to see what she looks like! Will she have lots of hair at birth? What color will her hair turn out to be? Will her eyes be blue like mine or hazel like Jeremy's...or will they be another color? Whose nose will she have?

All I can say is that I'm definitely done with being pregnant! Although, looking back, I haven't had a terrible pregnancy. I've never suffered from a lot of the ugly symptoms people warned me about (i.e. heart burn & constipation). I did have morning sickness for about 8 weeks which was definitely not fun. I had a couple of days where I couldn't keep down any food!

I did have a little scare before Thanksgiving and ended up in the hospital for 2 days. But since then I have been just fine!

I've never had "cravings" and I've never needed to eat "RIGHT NOW!"

In October I was told by someone "you sure are getting big for having such a long way to go!" Now all I seem to hear is "you sure don't look that big!" Will people make up their minds! I know that I feel big...and am running into the problem of not having much to wear b/c I'm too big...even for some of my pregnancy clothes. And I'm sure not going out to buy more for a few weeks!

My biggest complaint about pregnancy is the excruciating hip pain I have experienced at night for about 3 months now. This is one problem no one ever warned me about. Some nights are worse than others. Both legs will be in lots of pain (hips to ankles) and it will sometimes linger through midday...causing limping. I expected hip pain during the day b/c of the added weight & pressure on my hips when standing/working...but this night time pain really took me by surprise. It's frustrating because you expect to not sleep when the baby arrives...but I was hoping to get sleep before the big day. I guess I'm being prepared for what is to come in the way of sleepless nights.

It's weird to feel something moving around inside you. I just can't describe it! And it's even weirder to think about how I've become so used to the feelings. It's also interesting to think about how the moving has changed as she has gotten bigger and had less & less room to move around in. It's now more of a "rolling" feeling rather than a "kicking" feeling. Although every now and then she gets a good one in!

Putting it all in perspective, it has really been an amazing experience being pregnant.

It's fascinating how life begins!



Friday, May 11, 2007

super klutz 3


it's late, so i won't go into the long version...

i was in the hotel shower the night before the Indianapolis Mini Marathon...shaving...when all of a sudden...WHAM!! my right foot slipped back & slammed into the drain plug. OUCH!!! of course i also fell half out of the tub & jeremy came running in to find out what had happened. anyway...my foot was in some serious pain and i could only think about how this couldn't possibly be happening the night before i am to walk/run 13.1 miles! i get out...send my wonderful husband to the ice machine...ice it...try to walk...pain...bear through it and put my shoes on to do a couple of "practice laps" in the hallway of the hotel...pain. go back & continue to ice it. bump on arch of foot. pain. sleep. nice bruise in morning. determined to continue with mini. excitement of race & 35,000 people & goal to finish faster than last year slowly got my mind off the foot problem. or maybe it was the pain in the rest of my body that soon overpowered the pain in my foot....

a week later and the bruise is gone...but some pain still remains. especially when i'm walking out to my car and a rock hits the sole of my shoe exactly at my arch in just the right position...which happens more frequently than you would think. and then i have to do this funky little jig with my feet to quickly remedy the placement of my foot.

this is just another moment in the life of jessica leading to a daily reminder of who she is destined to be. **cue theme music** Super Klutz!

seriously...will the insanity of my klutziness ever end!!!

is klutziness even a word???


*so this ended up being a rather lengthy version anyway. my apologizes.*



Wednesday, April 04, 2007

ramblings of a tired girl


I am tired...I am sick of working on my house...I just want to go to bed...yet I can't seem to pull myself away from the computer. Something is wrong here. I feel like I'm back in college again. It's a strange sensation. And as I think about it, I realize it's the sensation of my bed calling my name...but me refusing to go to bed b/c I know the work that is in store for me tomorrow and I somehow think (in some deep corner of my mind) that if I don't go to bed I can avoid the work. I think it's the sleepyness talking. Or maybe it's the idea that I don't get to sit and just do nothing anymore...at least not at the computer...and there is some sort of addiction I once had and my body is remembering what it felt like to sit and stare at a computer when you're body is so tired the body is going faster than the process of thinking. Does that make sense to you? Have you ever had that feeling...where you're wondering how things can feel so slow...no...that's not it. It's the feeling of wondering how you're still typing so fast and things are still going on around you...but you're mind seems to be moving so slow...and you're somewhat in a daze...and trying to figure out if this reality is really happening to you.

Okay...I'm seriously done for the night. My rambling of nothingness has gone on far too long.

Adieu.


**i just noticed the time...the only difference between this feeling i have now and what i had in college is about 2-3 hours.



Wednesday, March 14, 2007

super klutz 2
Current mood: lethargic
Category: Blogging


okay...if you weren't quite sure before if i was the biggest klutz in town, get this...

two days ago i am at a hostess's house getting things set up for her tastefully simple party. i am walking down stairs with a full crate in my hands (with several ceramics in it i might add)...when i miscalculated which step was the actual last step...and fell down. BUT...knowing i had a quite an armful that i couldn't just let fly...i sacrificed my knee. i do think it looked rather graceful, though. as graceful as a fall down the stairs with an armful can look. might i add that the hostess was there the entire time. yeah, quite embarrassing. but, hey, that's the story of my life. oh...and i almost fell again during the party. my pants, that i've needed hemmed for quite some time, got caught under my shoes...luckily my display table was there to catch my fall.

THEN....that's right...the day's not over. I was walking to bed that night and jeremy, who always turns my lamp on so i can see, turned off all the lights. i couldn't see a thing. and before i knew it, i ran right into the frame of the door into our bedroom. my toes hurt b/c i had apparently stubbed them. and the bottom of my foot stung a little. but not enough to think much about. i just shrugged it off as another clumsy moment and crawled into bed. but as i laid there, i realized that the bottom of my foot stung a little more than i thought. so i reached down to rub it, and felt a little stickiness. i turned on my lamp and, sure enough, there was blood. i had a pretty nice gash in the bottom of my foot. you see, old carpet had been pulled up in the house, but one small section of nails had been left right next to the door frame...one of those, "we'll get to it later" things. who walks pressed against the door frame anyway?? apparently ME!

once i realized what caused the slice in my foot, my immediate thought was tetannus. the jury's still out on that, but i'm sure i'm fine. i've been keeping it pretty clean with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol & neosporin...oh...and of course...band-aid.

"I'm stuck on band-aid brand, 'cause band-aid's stuck on me!"



Saturday, February 24, 2007

super klutz
Current mood: sore


Well, I believe I am officially the biggest klutz in the Terre Haute area. Yesterday I was running late to work. I ran into a gas station to grab my breakfast of chocolate milk and a poptart. I parked in a different spot than normal b/c I was late and needed a closer spot. I got out of my car and began speed walking it to the door. Well...I only managed to get about 10 feet from my car when I suddenly realized my feet were flying out from under me, I was in the air, and falling back down while my poptart was becoming no longer edible. I landed HARD on my left elbow/forearm and rear. You know when you're about to get into a wreck and everything seems to go in slow motion? That didn't really happen to me, but my sense of my surroundings became very prominent during my fall. I saw my legs & arms flailing, 2 people across the parking lot, a school bus and lots of cars. The instant I hit ground I knew I must immediately get up so as not to be looked upon by everyone...although I don't know how they could have missed such a spectacle. I grabbed what was left of my poptart, jammed it into my coat pocket, and tried to walk away as if nothing had happened. Well bless her little heart, a student of about 4th or 5th grade, walked towards me and asked if I needed any help. To be honest, I could have used some major pain killers, but I smiled and forced out a laugh and said no, but thanks for asking...and went on to inform her that it was more embarassing than anything. I continued to walk into the school trying to look as if nothing had just happened. By the way, the 2nd person I saw mid-fall was some adult (not with the child) who didn't bother to even ask if I was okay. Just goes to show how wonderful children are compared to us adults.

I did manage to turn around and look at the sidewalk where I had slipped to see what had caused my misfortune. There wasn't really anything there...except a thin layer of ice that could only be seen if you were looking for it. Stupid snow melting every day and freezing every night!

I banged up my elbow pretty good as well as knock my back out of whack a little. I sent a student down to the nurse for some ice and I was told I needed to go down at some point in the day to fill out a report. I ended up going to the occupational health place that I was informed to go to for workman's comp reasons. They did an x-ray of my elbow/forearm and it came back clear. Thank goodness! I'm just stuck with a massive bump and a super sensitive arm. My time in that place was not pleasant, the doctor was unfriendly and uncaring...but that's a whole other story.

This comes after a week or so after, what I believe, is a re-break in my pinky toe on my left foot.

Just a couple of weeks before that I dropped a body wash bottle on my right foot while in the shower. It fell directly on the thinnest (and probably most sensitive) part of the foot...the exact part I broke in 6th grade b/c I was afraid of the dark. Again, another story. I'm pretty good at not crying when I am exposed to pain...but this incident immediately brought tears to my eyes.

And a couple of months before that I fell down the basement stairs. That was scary! I truly thought I was going to be stuck down there for hours until Jeremy came home. I was in so much pain I thought I had done something severe to my back. I forced myself to crawl up the stairs so I could be near a phone and I just laid on the living room floor for qutie some time waiting for the pain to localize (I might as well add I was crying the entire time...near to hyperventilating b/c I was so scared). The pain ended up localizing around my left butt cheek and a little in my lower back. Once I had calmed down, I got up to check out the damage and saw a massive bruise on nearly my entire cheek. I put ice on the affected area and laid down a little while longer. I ended up having the ugliest, largest bruise I have ever seen...and it was quite uncomfortable to sit for several days. This incident also spawned my going to the chiropractor to get my back all aligned.

****I might as well add that I walked out of school 7.5 hours after my unfortunate fall...only to see my cell phone on the sidewalk!!!! My bright pink cell phone was a huge contrast to the sidewalk and white snow. I literally gasped out loud when I saw it there. I was amazed that it hadn't been taken by some passerby or a student after school. It was just lying there in the open saying "hey, take me!" I picked it up and realized water was underneath it...because that ice I slipped on in the morning was now melted and the snow in the grass was melting and flowing to the street. So far my phone is fine...I took off the back and let it dry out.

Stupid snow melting every day and freezing every night!



Thursday, February 15, 2007

Peanut butter scare


okay...i'm selling out a little on my blogging and just copying & pasting my "note" from facebook to put on myspace. but here it is...

let me just say...i will forever be addicted to peanut butter and love every ounce of every jar i ever buy...as long as it's Reduced Fat Creamy Jiff.

as far as this new peanut butter scare...may i first say, to all you "un-choosy" people out there who pick *gag* Peter Pan...or even worse, Great Value...maybe you just had it comin'. no...i'm not that harsh. but maybe this recall will allow you to finally come around to the bliss that is Jiff.

Ways to use your peanut butter: ***more ideas welcome***

1.) peanut butter sucker (p.b. on a spoon)
2.) peanut butter on pretzels
3.) peanut butter on Graham crackers
4.) peanut butter on Graham crackers w/ chocolate frosting
5.) peanut butter on banana
6.) peanut butter mixed w/ cheerios & honey
7.) peanut butter toast...drizzled with honey
8.) girlled peanut butter sandwich...honey not jelly...p.b. melts...divine!
9.) peanut butter on apple
10.) peanut butter in puppy chow
11.) peanut butter in no-bakes
12.) peanut butter & honey wrapped in tortila...warm in oven for greater results
13.) peanut butter on pancakes
14.) peanut butter icing (homemade) on zucchini brownies
15.) peanut butter on oreos...not peanut butter filled oreos
16.) peanut butter on Twisty Grahams
17.) peanut butter on celery sticks
18.) peanut butter on s'mores-aka "El-s'mores"...camping will never be the same
19.) peanut butter on ice cream...warmed & drizzled
20.) peanut butter on waffles


21.) to get gum out of hair
22.) help kids take their medicine
23.) help dogs take medicine
24.) make horses "talk"
25.) to put on mouse traps



Sunday, December 17, 2006

ozzie
Current mood:bummed


i am disheartened with the fact that Ozzie did not win Survivor this season. he was clearly the ultimate survivor...providing tons of food for everyone (an octopus-on 2 different occasions!...climbing trees for coconuts...spearing fish) and lets not forget that he won competitions left & right. and i do believe he played the game morally as clean as i've ever seen anyone play (at least since Colby from Outback). he didn't stab anyone in the back or flip sides...at least from what i can remember. but NO....he had to lose the million by one measely vote...to a stinkin' lawyer!! and can i just say...had the game been played as it has for 12 previous seasons where the winner of the final immunity challenge picks who he/she takes to the final two...i believe he would have won. oeuradslkfja;dslfqwieur! at least he won the mercury mariner at the reunion.


***on a side note...did anyone find that Ozzie showed a stricking resemblence to Joey Lawrence during the reunion show????? the 19-year old Blossom version of Joey that is..."whoa!"



Thursday, December 07, 2006

House woes


We are currently starting on getting our house all fixed up & ready to put on the market. It's amazing how many things pop out at you when you're wanting to sell your house. There is so much we have to work on & finish. Our bathroom remodeling needs to be completed, paint needs touching up, problems with leaky ceilings need to be patched & painted, cabinets need cleaned & painted, floors cleaned, bulbs replaced, junk & clutter packed (or thrown) away, furniture rearranged or put into storage, house powerwashed, yard work, clean out the basement, clean the garage, etc. etc.

If you have sold your home before, I would love some advice on what to put more energy in and what not to waste my time on. This is the first time I've done this and know I have lots to learn. We are hoping to have our realtor come by within the next week or so and do a quick estimate and run through to see what needs to be done. We'd LOVE to have it ready to put up on the market the first of the year...but there's a TON that needs to be done and I'm just not sure there's enough time for that to happen. I'll keep you posted.